Home > Marriage > Family Concerns > Surviving Holiday House Guests
Surviving Holiday House Guests
by Kerri S. Mabee
 1 of 2
Carolers are singing, the doorbell is ringing, and it's time for some holiday cheer. But wait! Before you open that door, are you absolutely sure of who is waiting for you on the other side? The holidays have a way of luring house guests, after all. And if you're not careful and make them feel too welcome—well, they just may settle in for a long winter's nap.
Jokes aside, it really is a happy time when loved ones come to call. But, in reality, it doesn't take long for the family ties that bind to feel snug. And, unfortunately, marriages have a way of suffering from the tension. Read on for tips on surviving your house guests—as a team:
Set some boundaries (and let some slide …)
Before your guests even step foot in your home, talk with your spouse about the visit. Discuss how you can make the other feel comfortable and less burdened by the invasion. If your spouse insists on specific boundaries, then respect them. This could mean bedtime by 10 p.m. or no "guest pets" in the house. Or you may decide on a guest-free zone, where the two of you can reconnect and unwind.
Make your kids comfortable, too. Determine that at least one parent, when not entertaining the guests, will be in charge of seeing to the kids' needs and feelings. Tuck away their favorite toys and books in their rooms. Or create a calm and comforting refuge for them in your room for those times when the strain of being without their routines overwhelms them.
Show a united front. If one of you is opposed to smoking indoors, for instance, then stand together when you respectfully inform your guests that they will have to take it outside. It's acceptable to set the tone of your home, especially when you and your partner support each other.
Ease up on your usual standards for a spotless house. By all means, work together to tidy up for comfort and cleanliness, but resist the urge to purge while your guests sit idly by. Accept the possibility that one of you may assume the lion's share of the chores, depending on which set of in-laws is visiting. If you fret and squabble over every soda can and discarded straw sleeve, you'll send an unwelcome, unflattering message.
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