Home > Marriage > Profiles > War on the Homefront
War on the Homefront
Just back from Iraq, Navy SEAL Mark Waddell suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. And his wife, Marshéle, was clueless how to help.
by Dawn Zemke | posted 9/12/2008 11:35AM
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Waves lapped the sand while fireworks lit the night sky with red, white, and blue sparkles. It was July 4, 2003, and thousands gathered at the Virginia Beach celebration to observe the patriotic holiday. Marshéle and Mark Waddell watched the rockets exploding overhead, enjoying the show.
As the display concluded with a flurry of firecrackers and sonic booms, Marshéle (pronounced mar-SHELL) glanced toward Mark to share her excitement. But Mark was gone.
When he didn't return after several moments, Marshéle began to search for him. After a few minutes combing the crowd, she found him—far from the commotion, on a dark, deserted stretch of beach.
"What are you doing?" she called.
Mark didn't answer, his stern gaze fixed on the dark water.
"Honey, what's wrong?" she pressed, starting to worry.
To her surprise, Mark's eyes filled with tears as his voice trembled, "Can we just go home?"
The exploding firecrackers had triggered confusing emotions in Mark, a Navy SEAL two months home from combat in Iraq—memories of violence and death, sorrow over friends lost, and anger at America's failure to appreciate fully their sacrifice.
Although bewildered by Mark's reaction, 20 years as a military wife had conditioned Marshéle not to probe further. From the earliest days of their courtship, a barrier had existed between Mark's sensitive, secret job and his personal life—a wall Mark had erected under encouragement from his superiors and one Marshéle respected without question. But in the days that followed that beach retreat, Marshéle began to wonder if that silence was really the best thing for their marriage.
A young love
Mark and Marshéle met in church youth group in Phoenix, Arizona, and dated as teens, parting ways after high school—Mark to join the Navy and Marshéle to attend Arizona State University. Though they still had feelings for each other and kept in touch over the next few years, their lives were moving in different directions. While Mark completed his SEAL training, Marshéle worked on a degree in journalism and became engaged to a fellow student. The separation seemed permanent.
But Mark's first official deployment in the Philippines in 1983 was life-changing. As a teen, fallout from his parents' messy divorce had shaken his faith in the church. Now seeing the
suffering and exploitation all around him inspired Mark to re-examine God's purpose for his life. Broken, lonely, and still in love with Marshéle, he asked God to take control. "God, if it's your will," he prayed, "please let her reconsider the love we shared."
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