Home > Marriage > Profiles > Portrait of a Marriage: "Rebels with a Cause"
Portrait of a Marriage: "Rebels with a Cause"
Both from broken homes and dysfunctional relationships, Tripp and Barbara Curtis resolved to pursue more for their marriage and family.
by Laura Christianson
 1 of 6
Running away to get married is unusual when you're 32 and 28. But for Barbara and Tripp Curtis, eloping seemed like the most natural decision in the world.
Little did they know God would use their "shotgun" wedding to lead them where he wanted them to be: from radical, self-centered individuals to serving, self-sacrificing parents of 12.
Their wedding came on the heels of a whirlwind courtship. They met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting in September 1981, when both of them were dating other people. A year later, after Tripp broke up with his girlfriend, Barbara (who had earlier broken off her relationship) "made a beeline for him." And on September 15, 1982—his 28th birthday—Tripp and Barbara had their first date. The next day, they moved in together.
"I woke up the morning after that date and knew I wanted to [be with] Barbara," says Tripp. Barbara possessed qualities lacking in the "flashy" and "wounded bird" types Tripp usually dated: "She was strong and self-contained … she definitely wasn't a wounded bird in need of rescuing. And she was seeking spiritual answers, as was I."
"Tripp and I are not deliberate people who think things over carefully," says Barbara, laughing. "We're risk takers." For them, living together seemed like a logical step.
Barbara's 13- and 7-year-old daughters from her first marriage, accustomed to their mom's promiscuity, took the new boyfriend in stride. "My most recent relationship had been a lesbian relationship, so my daughters were probably relieved," says Barbara.
Discussions about when to get married began soon after Tripp moved in. "I felt ridiculous next to my daughters' friends' parents," says Barbara. "With a few years of sobriety under my belt, I was starting to yearn for a more 'normal' life."
But whenever Barbara pressed Tripp to set a wedding date, he waffled. "My template had been to sleep and live with as many women as possible," says Tripp. "I was afraid of commitment, and I think Barbara was worried I'd change my mind."
Three months later, on the day after Christmas, Barbara learned she was pregnant. When she told Tripp, he responded, "Well then, we'll get married." They tied the knot a week later.
Aware of the couple's impulsivity and aversion to long-term relationships, their friends and family begged them not to marry. "So we ran away," says Tripp.
"We just wanted to marry quickly," adds Barbara. They didn't even invite Barbara's daughters to the wedding—a decision they sincerely regret. "My daughters stayed with their grandmother, and they were hurt at not being included."
Barbara and Tripp exchanged vows at a coastal inn in California, just as the sun was setting over the Pacific Ocean.
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