Sign up for our free newsletter:

 2 of 5

Let's take a look at what these couples are doing to develop and maintain that spiritual intimacy.

Three quarters (75 percent) of those who responded to the survey said they attend church with their spouse at least three out of every four weeks. Four out of ten (41 percent) serve in a church ministry with their spouse, and eight out of ten (81 percent) give financially to their church.

According to Mark Galli, author of Jesus, Mean and Wild, and managing editor of Christianity Today magazine, "When a couple is active together in a church, that is the most important spiritual activity to engage in—that they are involved in the life of a Christian community. Our life as Christians is primarily communal, and therefore our spiritual lives as couples should be communal, set first and foremost in the context of the church."

On the average, those surveyed pray together 2.4 times per month, and a little more than one third (35 percent) said they and their spouse pray together at least once a week. "My spouse and I agree that prayer has been immensely helpful in strengthening and growing our marriage relationship," says one survey respondent. "As we draw closer to God together, we are drawn closer to each other!"

Yet many expressed the desire to be praying—or praying more—together. Others admitted they feel too vulnerable or embarrassed to pray with their spouse.

In a Marriage Partnershipinterview about his book, The Art of Prayer, Timothy Jones (MP, Fall 1997) addresses this hesitancy to pray together: "Several things hold us back. First, we fear that we won't measure up; that prayer is complicated and something only certain people do right. In reality, it's the simplest language in the world. God hears our humblest words. Prayer is more a matter of the heart than an eloquent vocabulary, whether you're praying by yourself or with your spouse. Begin with small steps. Pray the Lord's Prayer together out loud, or use an acrostic like A.C.T.S. (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication), speaking simple sentence prayers. Then let your times of prayer develop and deepen at their own rate."

Only one quarter (26 percent) of those surveyed said they do devotions with their spouse, and three out of ten (30 percent) spend time reading or studying the Bible together. Perhaps this reflects a difference in approach rather than a lack of spiritual intimacy. Speaker and church consultant Nancy Ortberg, whose husband, John, is a teaching pastor at Menlo Park Presbyterian Church in Menlo Park, California, observes, "It's one thing if you both share the same devotional style or approach Bible study in the same way. But John and I have learned you can't force your spouse to have the same approach you do—the point is to grow together spiritually, not make your spouse like you."

next page... |  2 of 5

				Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.

RSS Feed   RSS Help