Going from Good to Great | MarriagePartnership.com

That's where coaching can help. A couples coach can help them catch a fresh vision and then use that vision to make it their reality.

Therapy is based on a "reactive" mode—in other words, responding to whatever is wrong, fixing the problem or crisis. It's about digging into the past and present to get a couple to stable, healthy functioning.

Life coaching, on the other hand, is entirely proactive. It begins with the present, but is focused on the future. If counseling is about healing and issues of brokenness, coaching is about growth and issues of vision. Coaching takes a stable, healthy functioning couple to a vibrant, dynamic, intimate level—from "acceptable" to "exceptional."

A Typical Coaching Session

How often: A couple will usually contract with a coach on a monthly basis rather than session to session. The sessions average three times a month, for between a half hour to an hour.

Pre-session prep: The day before each session, the couple will e-mail to their coach a prep form. This form lets the coach know what the couple has done since the last session, what they're struggling with, and what they need/want to focus on in the next call. "This brings everybody up to speed" says McCluskey, "so they know before the session begins what they're going to be concentrating on.

Mode of communication: Most coaching is done over the phone, which makes it more convenient. Couples don't have to arrange babysitting, take time off work, drive across town, sit in a lobby.

"I'm working with a couple in another state," says McCluskey. "The husband is at the office and the wife is at home. They e-mail the prep form the day before. We all meet for a half hour over a conference call, hang up the phone, and everybody goes right back to what they were doing. It's really convenient."—GK

A coach is an objective party who will help you hear yourself and God better. A coach has no agenda, no personal investment in your taking one path versus another. Instead, he or she will focus on "the gap"—that distance between what the couple is seeing right now and where they would really like to be or where they sense God would have them to be. What's God's vision for your parenting or for your marriage?

A coach will challenge the couple to think about things they may never have thought of before, or only thought of in passing. A lot of times we ask ourselves the right questions but we don't really probe for an answer.