Home > Marriage > Communication > Planned Spontaneity?
Planned Spontaneity?
You bet. Here's a fool-proof method to score points with your spouse.
by Michael Kientz | posted 9/12/2008
 2 of 3
The presents were themed and would repeat every few months. Some ideas I had while making the calendar, and some allowed my wife to choose how she wanted the gift to be expressed. For example, a "Secret Envelope" might contain a card, some stationary, or some other small present, while a "Mr. Fix-It" square allowed Monica to select an odd job around the house she wanted done.
Deposits of love
I don't always get the husband-thing right, but as a friend of mine says, "Even a broken clock is right twice a day." Monica was thrilled with the calendar the first time she opened it. I probably could have left the other gifts at the department store that Christmas.
Over the years, the "Moni-Day" calendars have been a blessing to our marriage. Each week, I satisfy my wife's love of presents without having to be a gift-giving genius. If I'm careful at the beginning of the year, I can make sure "Moni-Days" occur next to or on special occasions—an added insurance against forgetfulness. Sometimes I even get lucky and have a "Moni-Day" scheduled for a day when I've really messed up. (Thankfully, it's difficult to stay angry with someone who gives you a present.)
While the presents are never big, they are a regular reminder of how much I love Monica. She looks forward to peeling back each square, never quite knowing what type of gift she'll receive. In fact, I think I've contributed to some sort of addiction. I've been told I'm not allowed to take a year off from the calendars.
Do it yourself
if you'd like to create your own version of the "Moni-Day" calendar, try some of the themes listed below. They can work easily for either spouse.
Breakfast in bed. Your mate gets to sleep in on a Saturday while you (and sometimes the kids) make breakfast. (List these on Fridays, so she'll know she can sleep in the next day.) Be sure to clean up afterward! There's nothing that takes the joy out of this gift like a sink full of dirty dishes.
Cracker Barrel Saturday. The entire family heads out for breakfast. (Choose your spouse's favorite restaurant.)
Dish duty. Pick up all dish-cleaning responsibilities for the week—or whatever daily "chore" your spouse usually handles.
Game night. Set aside a night to play games with each other after putting the kids to bed early.
Give it up! Your spouse gets to choose one job he or she doesn't enjoy, and you take it over for the week.
Grab bag. Your mate draws for the present. Place small gifts inside a bag and let your spouse pick one. Or draw slips of paper with the names of different gifts instead.
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