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For example, a man called me six months into his marriage. "My wife snores," he complained. "I can't stand it." Obviously, the issue was more than her snoring. He'd awakened from a long-held fantasy; he finally understood she was human. I warned him that unless they'd built their relationship on more than mutual attraction, their marriage was doomed. (They later divorced.)

Todd also bought into the fantasy marriage—three times. "Every time I said, 'I do,' I held ideas of how marriage should function," he admitted. "I loved my wife—then." After several years, both became disillusioned. She wasn't living up to what a wife "should be" and he no longer felt the way he had when they first married.

"I understand one part in the wedding ceremony—finally," Todd said. "When you and Shirley promised to stay together 'for better or for worse, in sickness and in health,' you could do that because you have something else—something beyond your love for each other that keeps you together."

"For an unspiritual believer," I said, "that's amazingly insightful."

The commitment to God's principle of a relationship severed only by death transcends earthly things. It's powerful because it surpasses feelings and situations. It's a relationship that says, "Even though, and no matter what … we're still together." When two people are both bound by the same, unwavering vow, the marriage lasts.

Cecil Murphey is author or co-author of more than 100 books, including the New York Times bestseller 90 Minutes in Heaven (Revell).

*Name has been changed.

Copyright © 2007 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.

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