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Participating in this group helped Mark and me develop deep and consistent friendships with couples. Common friendships became a priority in our marriage. Our times with couple friends resulted in strong memories that we may not have had if Mark had only his men friends and I had only my women friends.

In The Safest Place on Earth, Larry Crabb pinpoints what many of us long to experience: "That cry from your heart is your longing to be part of a true church, to participate in spiritual community, to engage in spiritual conversations of worship with God and of co-journeying with others. You yearn for a safe place, a community of friends who are hungry for God."

Being hungry for God together is ultimately what bonds Mark and me to each other and to other couples. This is why we value the friendship, accountability, and insight other couples bring to our relationship.

By our eighth year of marriage, we were ready to lead others in the couples' group journey. Leading together brought a new marital challenge that allowed us to dive into each other's strengths and weaknesses. 

We had to learn to understand each other's leadership and communication styles. Many nights were spent preparing for and debriefing how meetings went. We learned how to negotiate priorities, handle conflict, and keep God at the center of our personal and group spiritual goals.

If you and your spouse want to connect with God, each other, and other couples on a deeper level, consider getting involved in or even starting a couples' small group. Here's how to get started.

Pray about it. Pray with your spouse about what you want from and are willing to give to a group. Ask God to guide you to specific people. Mark and I prayed and decided to go deeper with Mark's ministry team at church. During a ministry meeting, the two of us cast our vision to the team of 50. When four couples responded, we knew God was leading.

Discuss whom to invite. As part of developing your mutual vision, it's important to discuss whom you want to invite to your group. While you can grow and learn from all types of people, you need to feel comfortable so that you can become vulnerable with these couples. Think about the dynamic you're seeking and whether or not you want to include all who show interest or selectively interview potential couples.

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