Home > Marriage > Communication > Pushy Wives and Pushover Husbands
Pushy Wives and Pushover Husbands
Three Bible couples tell all.
by Liz Curtis Higgs | posted 9/12/2008
 2 of 5
Only a loving God could use such imperfect couples to accomplish his perfect will.
Truth is, women often get what we want through not-so-subtle persuasion, verbal agility, and emotional expression. At least, that's how it works in my marriage. My husband and I live in the old farmhouse I fell in love with and drive the Toyota I picked out.
Does my dear husband have an opinion? Naturally. He's also a peacemaker, and granting my wishes gives him what he wants: harmony at the Higgs house.
I can see Abram nodding (and Sarai glaring at me for giving away our time-honored tactics). Abe wasn't the first or last man in history to have a pushy wife. Without hesitation Sarai "took her Egyptian maidservant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife" (Genesis 16:3). Notice how Sarai took and gave, just like Eve, who took and gave something forbidden to her spouse.
Sarai should have trusted God's timing. But she didn't.
Abram should have trusted God's provision. But he didn't.
In the push and pull of marriage, both partners bear the responsibility of honoring God first.
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The next generation started out on a better footing. Isaac didn't sleep with Rebekah's maidservant in order to build a family, not even after 20 years of marriage. Instead, "Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren" (Genesis 25:21), and his prayer was duly—and doubly—answered.
Since Rebekah was still of childbearing age, hers was not a miraculous, postmenopausal conception like Sarah's, but it was twins. Like every pregnant woman with indigestion, swollen ankles, and a gymnast in her womb, when "the babies jostled each other within her," Rebekah moaned, "Why is this happening to me?" (Genesis 25:22).
Why me? It's a question we've all asked the Lord at some point. We pray for the perfect job, then are dismayed when it's not everything we'd hoped for. We pray for the ideal mate, only to be taken aback the moment his or her less-than-ideal traits surface. We pray for God to bless us with children, then balk when parenthood isn't filled with endless Gerber Baby moments.
So we understand why Rebekah wanted an explanation for her pain and applaud her bold move: "She went to inquire of the Lord" (Genesis 25:22). When she spoke, God not only listened, he also answered: "Two nations are in your womb … and the older will serve the younger" (Genesis 25:23).
From the moment Rebekah gave birth, that heel-grabbing younger son was the apple of her eye. Isaac adored the older Esau, "but Rebekah loved Jacob" (Genesis 25:28). Rather than standing side by side, loving their sons equally, this husband and wife stood apart and played favorites, driving a stake through the heart of their marriage.
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