Home > Marriage > 24/7 > Fowl Play!
Fowl Play!
These 4 communication styles are for the birds.
By Gary D. Chapman | posted 9/12/2008
 2 of 2
Unfortunately, instead of trying to change these unhealthy patterns, many Christians look for biblical reasons to continue them. For example, the dove may quote Romans 12:18: "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." The apostle Peter spoke against this twisting of Scripture to meet our own needs (2 Peter 3:16).
So how do you get rid of these four birds?
First, identify them.
Second, admit this bird is detrimental. Stand in front of a mirror and say, "I'm an owl. This is the way I communicate to my spouse, and it's hurting our marriage." Acknowledging it to yourself makes it easier to admit to your spouse.
Third, resolve to change the pattern. The Bible strongly emphasizes human choice. When you decide to get rid of the birds in your communication, you'll have the Holy Spirit's help.
Fourth, replace old patterns with new ones. The dove will speak the truth in love. The hawk will accept responsibility for his behavior. The owl will trade in the professor's "Let's be reasonable" attitude for the lover's desire to know, "What are your feelings regarding this?" The ostrich will replace silence with, "Let me make sure I understand what you're saying."
Get rid of the birds, and marital intimacy will return to your relationship.
Gary D. Chapman, Ph.D., author of Now You're Speaking My Language (B&H Publishing), has been married to Karolyn for 45 years.
Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Marriage Partnership magazine. Click here for reprint information on Marriage Partnership.
We'd really like to know what you think about this article! |
Is this the kind of article you'd like to see more of?
Is there a topic you'd like us to cover?
Please send your suggestions to |
Marriage Partnership
Home | Archives | Contact Us
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free!
|
 |
|
Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required.
Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only.
If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
| |
|
RSS Feed
