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Way too Busy
What to do when your schedules leave little time together.
by Valorie Burton | posted 9/12/2008
 2 of 3

- He didn't take on more than he could handle.
- He was clear about his purpose.
- When he needed rest, he took it.
Our relationships with God and our spouse must be at the top of our priority list. If you don't have time for nurturing those two relationships, then now is an urgent time for change. One thing I know for certain: God didn't make a mistake when he created a 24-hour day, just as he didn't make a mistake when he chose marriage as the foundation of family.
Learning to identify busyness and readjust together is a lifelong skill that will make every marriage stronger. For some, it's as simple as getting up 30 minutes earlier to share breakfast or committing to sit down to dinner together every night. For others, the answer may be as major as choosing to live on one income so that one parent can stay home with children—a challenging, but rewarding choice.
Be realistic about how much you can actually do in a day—or a week. When you find yourself overwhelmed by the amount of commitments on your to-do list, take a few moments to ask yourself, What could I do differently in this situation to reduce the stress and give myself some breathing room? Journal your answers or talk it through with your spouse. Then consider these five steps.
Plan a respite.
When you go through a period of being in overdrive, the key to avoiding burn out is to plan some down time together. Sometimes there's a good reason you must shift into overdrive. The problems occur when you both stay in overdrive indefinitely. Remember to slow down and breathe! Look at your calendar and plan some down time. This gives you a goal to move toward as you catch up and take control of your schedule.
Give yourself time to catch up.
Identify what's overdue and what's coming up. My husband and I have created an annual calendar of the shared responsibilities of owning a home. That way, we don't feel overwhelmed and constantly behind schedule. Catching up—even just on paper—relieves anxiety and gives us emotional space to focus on other things.
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