Home > Marriage > Communication > Spouse, Interrupted
Spouse, Interrupted
My little digs made big holes in our relationship.
By Mandy Houk | posted 9/12/2008
 2 of 3
From ridiculous to dangerous
At first I was irritated—indignant, really—that people would so easily assume that I meant to insult my husband in front of hundreds of people, in God's house, no less. I snatched at Pete's sleeve and whispered, "I didn't mean it the way they think! You know that, don't you?"
I was sure he'd agree. After all, I'm not "that kind" of wife. But then I remembered how the incident had started. I'd made a point of correcting the date, when, even if Pete had been incorrect, it would not have been a fatal error because the information was printed in the bulletin insert. Perhaps I am "that kind" of wife after all—the one from Proverbs. And I don't mean chapter 31. I mean 27:15: "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping."
So with that same squirmy feeling in my stomach, I snatched at Pete's sleeve again and waited for him to look at me. And in his eyes I saw fresh, real pain and knew that I was the cause. Normally I'm a big talker, but in that moment, all I could think to say was, "I am so sorry."
Fortunately, I have an incredibly generous husband. The pain in his eyes softened to forgiveness as he smiled and squeezed my hand. I breathed a sigh of relief and bit the tip of my ridiculous, untamed tongue.
When I correct or criticize Pete, whether it's in front of 3 people or 300, my tongue has gone from untamed and ridiculous to dangerous. I've let it become like a shiny garden spade, digging a hole under Pete's feet to make him lower so I can be higher. Maybe it's not my conscious intent, but my intent doesn't matter if that's what happens in Pete's heart. Each incident on its own seems like a tiny little dig, but each dig leaves a very big hole.
It's easy to minimize these incidents. To laugh them off as brief, passing things that don't leave real damage.
But the Bible is clear: "Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" (Matthew 12:34). If we think little of our spouse, or care little for his feelings, you can be sure it's going to come out in our speech. That's why words shaped like spades leave such gaping holes.
We'd really like to know what you think about this article! |
Is this the kind of article you'd like to see more of?
Is there a topic you'd like us to cover?
Please send your suggestions to |
Marriage Partnership
Home | Archives | Contact Us
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free!
|
 |
|
Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required.
Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only.
If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
| |
|
RSS Feed
