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My Gift
When my wife was diagnosed with cancer, I wanted to give her something meaningful to let her know I'd always love her. But what could I give?
Cecil Murphey
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Shirley handled the news far better than I did. Even though the doctor reminded her that she was in the high-risk category, she didn't seem upset. She had breast cancer and it had already spread into the lymph nodes. He informed her that after surgery, she would have six weekly chemo injections.
Shirley is one of those individuals who has never been physically strong and has suffered from many illnesses. Although this seemed to be one more burden for her to overcome, she didn't complain or feel sorry for herself.
The doctor sent home a video and several helpful pieces of literature to prepare us for the surgery and for the chemo treatments.
A few days before her surgery, I walked in a nearby park. I love my wife, even though many times I felt I'd expressed it inadequately. The thought of losing my life-partner burdened me and I hardly knew how to deal with it. No matter what happened, I wanted her to have some sense of how deeply I felt. In our years together we've had many problems and struggles—like other couples—but our relationship had always been the one stable thing in my life. God had given me a loving, committed wife. I'm a better Christian today because of her.
As I walked that day, I decided that I wanted to give her a gift—something beyond words and something beyond what was prized one day and laid away and forgotten a month later. It had to be a special gift. As I prayed, nothing came to me.
A few days before the surgery, we watched the video. It warned us that some marriages break up when a woman undergoes a mastectomy. Some men see their wives as disfigured, disgusting, and unappealing.
A few wives spoke openly about feeling unattractive and ugly. Especially, the women spoke about their hair. As I learned then, most women lose all bodily hair during chemo treatments. The women spoke about their hair coming out in the shower in huge hunks. Some told of their tears, even though they knew the hair would grow again after the treatments stopped.
I loved Shirley's thick mane. When we married, it was that beautiful shade of red they call titian. By her mid-thirties, the graying had taken away the titian and her color became what they call champagne. I thought it was beautiful.
After we watched the video, I had an idea. I knew the gift I could give her.
"You'll probably go bald," I said. "At least that's what the video depicted."
Before I could say anything more, Shirley said she'd either buy a wig or wear a turban. She didn't seem distressed. That felt a bit strange because I was more upset over the loss of her hair than she was.
"I have an idea," I said. "It's something I'd like to do for you. When you lose your hair, how about if I shave my head?"
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