Fighting the Good Fight
Sara Groves has been fighting—with God, with questions of faith, and even with her husband. Now she's coming out on the other side…of something.
by Mark Moring | posted 3/22/2004
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A committed Christian since she was 4, Sara Groves never rebelled, never doubted, never questioned her faith—till a few years ago. She'd turned 30, started having kids, and was worn out by a demanding schedule. Suddenly, she started asking God questions, prompted by concerns for her family's welfare. The normally docile Groves put on her boxing gloves and met God in the ring. She was, like Job and Jeremiah and Paul before her, ready for the divine fight of her life. And she came on the other side as winner. But the other side of what, exactly? That's what Groves asks on her new CD, The Other Side of Something (INO), a menu of marvelous stories and music borne out of those trials and uncertainties. Co-produced by Nate Sabin and Charlie Peacock, the new disc explores Groves' recent journeys—including bouts with God, with herself, and even what she calls "a humdinger" with her husband Troy.
OK, the other side of what, exactly?
Sara GrovesI told Charlie [Peacock], "I'm on the other side of something. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I'll have to live a little bit longer, and then I'll look back and know what it was." These last three years have included a lot of wrestling and questions in my heart. I told Charlie, "I'm coming out of this thing," and he said, "You need to write that song." It ended up being "Compelled," one of my favorite songs on the album because it documents such a real event in my life. The whole album is really documenting a spiritual journey I've been on.
What kind of journey?
GrovesI never had a rebellious teenager time. I was always on fire for the Lord. But I think I hit my rebellion around my 30th birthday. And a 30-year-old rebellion looks a lot different than a 16-year-old rebellion. But it was a rebellion nonetheless.
What does it look like?
GrovesI think it started when Kirby was born [Sara & Troy's first child, born August 2000]. I had told the Lord, "Whatever, wherever—take me, make me, break me." But when Kirby was born, it became impossible to say, "Take him, make him, break him." I began looking at the Lord with a lot of distrust; that was really at the heart of it. On top of all that, we had an unbelievable touring schedule. I was tired. All my gauges were on empty. So it gets hard to fight the good fight when you're just so beat up.
It got to the point where I told a girlfriend, "If something happened to Kirby while we're on the road doing this—which I feel is God's call on my life—I don't know if my faith would survive that." I had a friend who'd just lost a baby, and another friend who'd had three miscarriages. There was all this loss around me. I started thinking about Job: What the heck is happening in that story? I said to the Lord, "Why would you take the man's family?" I was just feeling very unprotected, like, Who's looking out for me?
Sounds like you were near the end of your rope.
GrovesI didn't want to be Frodo any more; I didn't want any part of the battle between good and evil. I just wanted to go and work, to be a normal person. I didn't want to feel like I have a call on my life. I didn't want to feel everything so deeply. I didn't want to have to ask the bigger questions. I've always said, "Lord, I don't understand it, but I trust you." But for the first time I was saying, "I don't understand it, and I want to know why. I'm not going to just take your word for it anymore." There's a song on the new album called "The Boxer," where I say to the Lord, "When you said this was a fight, you weren't kidding."
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