Sarah Kelly's debut CD, which released on Gotee Records in February, is titled Take Me Away. Today, those words mean something entirely different than they might have for a 14-year-old Sarah, whose struggles with self-esteem made her want to be literally taken away. She was so filled with self-hatred at one point that she even attempted suicide. But through God's intervention—and the cathartic release of songwriting—Kelly dealt, and still deals, with those self-image issues. She now confidently and passionately sings of God's love and grace.

Tell me about your journey to where you are today.

Sarah Kelly: I was a worship leader in Rockford [Illinois], and I started leading worship for Master's Commission. When you lead worship for Master's Commission, you start putting out CDs and are asked to go to different places.

The cat got out of the bag that I have a heart to see people write music themselves. I really want to see churches write some of their own songs they're singing on Sunday mornings. That was the underlining passion for me, that's what's brought me here, and that's why I have an album full of songs.

I understand the road wasn't always easy, especially in junior high school.

Kelly: True. Those years were very hard for me personally. It was a rough time for me because I had changed schools. I wasn't "ugly," but I wasn't the prettiest girl there, and I became a sport for the other kids. It was all about who could think of the most awful name for me, and I can still remember some of them. Some of the names still are sore spots for me if I hear them. Those things leave marks!

Back then, things got so bad that I'd look at myself in the mirror and say, I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I had to take that frustration out on somebody, and I ended up taking it out on myself. One day I hit rock bottom, and I did try to take my own life. It was a serious attempt; it was not "a cry for help." I never thought I'd be the kind of person who'd do that.

I know that Jesus must've been crying because now I realize how much he loves me. I didn't see that back at that time. All I saw was an awkward girl that everyone hated for no reason, who didn't fit in, and I figured there had to be something wrong with me.

So, how'd you get past that?

Kelly: I was writing music that whole time, and I really think that's what brought me through. That's why I want to teach that age group how to write songs. It would be nice to think that these girls could go to their mom for support, but that isn't realistic for a lot of them; it wasn't for me. Who do you go to at that age? You tend to go to yourself.

What would you want to tell junior high students today?

Kelly: I'd say that if you're even thinking of trying to take your own life, honestly think about the consequences before you do it. You always hear about people who tried to commit suicide, but you don't hear about what they have to live through after the fact—after their family no longer trusts them in a room by themselves, after the mom is weeping night after night because she doesn't understand what would drive you to that since you live in a good home. You break people's hearts around you, and you don't realize you're doing that at that moment. All you can see is your self-hate.

Don't wait until you're in the hospital to pray the prayer that I prayed—to let God change you and let him show you what he thinks about you. Once you begin to see yourself through his eyes, you can't help but like yourself. In fact, you'll love yourself. You'll have a new confidence; I felt that in ninth grade. It was a new smile on my face, and I wasn't as timid and ashamed to be who I was. Those were some rough years, but we worked through them. Jesus really helped me out. He's the reason I'm still alive!

I'd also tell them that you have to choose what you believe from what people tell you. You can't base your view of yourself on what they think. It's a constant struggle; we all deal with deciding whether or not we'll take those voices captive or not. Even today, I have to do that every time I get on a stage.

And all of that is part of what drives you to teach people to write music.

Kelly: That's right. And the process of helping people learn how to write music led me to create a demo album that became this new "debut" album. I wanted to get some of the songs we were writing to find a way into some churches, and this album is a way to help make that happen. Some of the people who co-wrote with me are from youth groups. I want to give their songs a home.

So, your debut is just a really nice version of your demo?

Kelly: I remember listening to the CD thinking, I wasn't supposed to be this cool. But, I literally got seven offers from record labels on that demo. We didn't know what to think because I'm not even supposed to be a singer; I'm just a songwriter. The guys who played with me were from my youth group and we were all taken back.

It's funny looking back, because people say that I've worked so hard to get here. I worked my guts out. But it was on a week-to-week basis, seeing the fruit for each week—a child or adult who found out they could write music. It wasn't about chasing a record deal.

Apparently, you haven't always been comfortable singing in public?

Kelly: That's right. I always helped my church out with music, but I'd say, "Please don't make me sing, Pastor! I've got a weird voice!" It's been fun watching God unfold this whole thing before me. It's been a lot of obedience, it's been a lot of stepping into the unknown, and a lot of mustering-up courage to do things I never thought I'd do in a million years. Because until you're there, and are about to look like the biggest idiot in the world, you just keep asking yourself why you're doing it. But after getting over those initial concerns, it's amazing if you keep walking through the doors he opens for you. I'm living proof that God will know what you want so much better than you will.

Do you communicate that when you're teaching people how to write songs?

Kelly: When I'm doing the seminars, I encourage them to not waste time on insecurity because I wasted so much of my life being insecure about things. The way you fight that is to step into the unknown. You don't always need a safety net. And sometimes you feel you failed when you walk off the stage, but then you do it again, and again, and soon that confidence will build.

I think of the woman who washed Jesus' feet with her hair (Luke 7:36-50). That could not have been an easy thing to do. She was so vulnerable. It's an inspiration to all of us today. It takes guts to be vulnerable and there's no easy way around it. You just have to make yourself do it.

Does that thinking translate into other areas of your life?

Kelly: Oh yeah, performance, everything! The same courage it takes to write a song is the same courage it takes to be honest in front of a crowd. It's the same thing in order to be honest with an individual, or to have a good marriage. Absolutely. It's translated to every area of my life. I'm a more confident person today. I like myself, in a good way, and for someone who's dealt with self-esteem issues, that's a big statement.

For more about Sarah Kelly, visit our artist page for her, where you will also find a review of her deubt, Take Me Away. Visit Christianbook.com to hear sound clips and buy her music.

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