One of KJ-52's favorite pastimes is poking fun at his own self. His sometimes hilarious autobiographical raps are often filled with self-deprecating humor, and even today, he admits that his career just doesn't add up: "A white dude from the suburbs doing Christian rap and driving a minivan? None of that makes sense. No one says, 'That's the formula, right there!' But at the end of the day, it just proves God did it." Another thing that "proves God did it" is the restored bond between KJ—whose real name is Jonah Sorrentino—and his parents, who divorced when he was 9. His relationship with his parents was rocky for years, especially through his teens and early 20s, but his desire to reconnect with them sparked much of the material on his latest CD, Behind the Musik: A Boy Named Jonah (BEC/Uprok). The album has a number of songs, including the title track, about his parents and family, plus several interlude interviews with his mom and dad. We recently caught up with KJ to talk about the new album—and how his relationship with his parents has been restored.

Your last album, It's Pronounced Five-Two, was pretty autobiographical, but this new one even more so. What's up with all the self-revelations?

KJ-52: The main reason was that once people connect with your music, then they usually want to go to the next step—knowing all the little things about you and trying to connect with you as a person.

Why did you decide to make your parents such a big part of this album?

KJ-52: The original idea was to tie it into a song, "Behind the Musik," that was more or less my life story. I recorded my dad saying some things, but he went too long. Then a light came on, and I just thought, rather than just have that in one song, what if I made that the entire theme throughout the record. So I took it to the next step and taped my mom too.

You were six when your parents separated and nine when they divorced. How did that affect you as a child and as you headed into your teen years?

KJ-52: I basically just internalized a lot of it. I don't think I necessarily knew exactly what was going on, but I knew I wasn't happy. Looking back now, I think I was dealing with the symptoms of a deeper problem—just what gets played out in a lot of kids' lives. But coming to Christ, you're able to look at your life in a different way, and that's what began that process of healing, of Christ just cleaning you up.

Were you an angry guy as a teen?

KJ-52: It was more of a held-in anger—meaning I would just be normal and then if you said the wrong thing, I would just explode. I didn't walk around angry all the time, but I just had these fits. It even scared me because I couldn't even seem to control it. A teacher would say the wrong thing, and next thing I knew I was yelling at the teacher—and then I'd end up at the principal's office. I'm like, How did this even happen? I can't even remember how I got here. So, yeah, I can definitely describe myself as a kid that was angry.

When you had these outbursts, did you blame them on your frustrations over your parents' divorce?

KJ-52: It was a combination of a lot of things—not just the divorce, but also not getting along at home with my stepfather. But honestly, I think that part of it is just adolescence, period. The struggles of being a teenager, with all that dumped on top, just made a powder keg, I guess you'd say.

You've said you don't blame your parents for your hard times or your anger. You can say that now, looking back, but did you feel differently at the time?

KJ-52: Definitely. I think it's very easy to play the victim. In other words, you can use something like my parents' divorce as an excuse to be however you want to be: It's not my fault. I can act this way because of what happened. That was basically my problem—I was walking around as the victim instead of realizing I can have victory in Christ.

I think too often people use things like that as a copout, saying, "Nothing is my fault. I don't have to try and change anything. I don't have to try and overcome." That's like saying to God, "I don't need you," even though you don't necessarily realize it.

So where is that fine line between now using it as an excuse and yet acknowledging the pain that a divorce, or whatever the circumstance, has caused?

KJ-52: You can't deny that something bad has happened. You can't walk around like, I'm fine. It's okay. You definitely have to acknowledge that, no, you're not okay. But you also have to reach a point of saying, "I'm not going to dwell on everything of the past. I'm not going to dwell on anger or bitterness or hurt. I'm going to move forward because God is going to give me the strength to do that." That's that fine line that I've seen in my life.

How did God help you deal with the pain and frustration?

KJ-52: When I became a Christian at age 15, I started to realize that, number one, God didn't want me to walk around with unforgiveness. And number two, if he could forgive me for all the things I'd done, then surely he could give me the strength to be able to do the same thing. That was the beginning of it. The other part was knowing that whatever happened to me didn't compare to what they did to Christ. And also knowing that God can do anything, including helping you overcome anything.

There was a verse that I hung onto all the time: "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" (Proverbs 18:24). That was Christ in my life. I hung onto that, and it really pulled me through a lot of times.

Who did you have to forgive? Both of your parents? Was there more to it than that?

KJ-52: Yeah. There's always more to it than that. There was an attitude of forgiveness. But a part of it also was just saying, "I still love you." Even when you have the right to be angry, you don't have the right to exercise that. You know what I mean? It's so much better to be able to walk in love with somebody than to walk in hate or anger. And I just chose to do that. I chose to say, "God, I'm going to do what you tell me to do, even when it hurts, even when it's hard, because that's what you want." And there's freedom in that.

What else did you learn in the process of forgiving them?

KJ-52: God showed me I had a misunderstanding about forgiveness—basically that it doesn't mean you have to set yourself up to be hurt again. God doesn't want us to be in a place where we are getting hurt or abused. God doesn't ask us to be doormats. There's freedom in that, too, because I had been thinking, Oh, I have to just keep accepting it, taking it on the chin. But God showed me that you do forgive, but you don't have to walk around constantly getting hurt either. You can be the victim or you can be the victor. God showed me how to walk in victory over all that.

How would you describe your relationship with your mom and dad today?

KJ-52: See, that's the great thing. Even through making this whole record, I was able to really start the lines of communication over again. I talk to them now more than I have in a long time. So that was a real blessing. This whole album was able to spark that—to get some things out in the open and deal with them, things that just sat dormant for years. It's funny. My dad called me the other day and said, "I really see God working in your life, and it's a great thing. And I really love your new record." Just hearing him say that was great. It's not like they weren't supportive all along, but those little things are just cool confirmations along the road.

Had there been a phase where you weren't communicating at all with your parents?

KJ-52: There was definitely probably too long of a time where that was the case, yeah.

How would you describe your relationship with your parents now?

KJ-52: I would say it's pretty good. Definitely the best it's been in a while. It's good. Anything positive is always good.

For more about KJ-52, visit our artist page for him. There you'll find past interviews and reviews, including our take on his recent album, Behind the Musik. Visit Christianbook.com to listen to sound clips and buy his music.

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