'My Faith Was Dead'
After losing his record deal and almost losing his sister, Warren Barfield went through a long, dark night of the soul. He's since bounced back with new life: Call it Warren peace.
by Maryann Hunsberger | posted 4/03/2006
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Warren Barfield
thought he had it all when his self-titled debut released in 2003—good sales, two top ten songs, and a designation as Christian radio's top new artist from Radio & Records magazine. Then he lost it all. Overnight, the record contract was gone (when the label, CTW, folded), a family friend was dead and his sister lay in a hospital bed. He wondered how he could ever sing again. After much soul searching and securing a new record deal, Barfield is back with Reach. Barfield spoke with us about the changes in his life, about his new album and about how God reached out to him.
When your record label closed down, did you think your career was over?
Warren Barfield I did. I didn't know what was going to happen. It's common for labels to change hands or for labels to disappear. Artists get lost in that all the time. There are tons of artists whose labels fold when their records are ready to come out, so everything is shelved. When I got the phone call saying my label was gone, I figured it was over. My label still held my contract, so they shopped it around to other labels. I didn't have any say in it because once you sign a contract, they own it and have the rights to do whatever they want. I had to sit and wait for a year and a half. It was frustrating. I wanted to know either way so I could go on with my life.
Then along came a family tragedy. Can you tell me about that?
Barfield My sister Rena's best friend since high school was Carla. They were college roommates. They lived next door to each other when they got married. They had a singing ministry together, made a record and were getting ready to tour. One night on the way back from the mall, my sister lost control of her car and Carla died instantly. My sister was injured and had to deal with guilt and the loneliness of losing her best friend.
When I went to my sister's hospital room, I wanted so badly to say something to make it all make sense. There was nothing. Even the best spiritual clichés didn't help. All I could do was cry with her. I was going through the thing with the record label at the same time. We were both asking how we could ever sing again.
How did these challenges affect your faith?
Barfield Everything was stripped away to the point of my asking who I was and why I was here. I questioned everything about myself, not only if I was meant to be a Christian singer, but if I even was a Christian. I thought about quitting. I didn't want to make music anymore. Music is my heart, but I wondered if God meant for me to be in the music business. The grace of God made me not give up.
How did you realize that making music is what you are supposed to do?
Barfield I can't do anything else. I've tried to quit so many times, but I can't. I've gotten back to a place of making music because I love to make music. There is a desire in my heart to do this even when it gets hard. I always end up sitting behind my guitar singing my story.
How did this affect you as a musician?
Barfield For too long, I was doing it my way. I was trying to be successful. I was becoming a bitter person and not handling the industry well. I was becoming someone who always felt I deserved better. All this stuff happened and broke me. I now want to do things the way Christ would do things. I realize now that I don't deserve anything. Every good thing is a gift from God for which I am grateful. I now care less about people's definition of success. This has affected my message on stage in a huge way. I want people to understand that faith is the only thing that is real.
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