1 of 4

A year ago, John Waller had assumed his recording career was behind him. His band, According to John, never took off like he had hoped in the late '90s, and he had moved on to a rewarding position as worship pastor at SouthLink Church in Colorado. But it was there that the road back to the music business began. A batch of songs written for the congregation led to a new recording contract with Beach Street Records, the label founded by Mark Miller of Sawyer Brown and home to Casting Crowns. Billboard magazine has since named Waller one of the 10 Faces to Watch in 2007. Waller talked to us about how failure, recovery from depression, and Old Testament tradition have all helped him better understand God's love and the importance of blessing others.

Congratulations on the release of your solo debut. Was it worth the wait?

John Waller Absolutely! When I was 19, God gave me the vision to travel and use the gifts he's given me to speak truth into people's lives. Now I'm 36, standing on the other side of a 17-year process, and it's so amazing to look back on it. I spent 14 years trying to make it happen, and 3 years letting God do it. I can really see God's hand and faithfulness. If he had done it any earlier, it would have been disastrous for me.

Why is that?

Waller Four years ago, God delivered me from a 20-year struggle with depression and medication. My grandmother struggled with it. My mother still does today, and when I was 12, she took me to the doctor. He "diagnosed" me with it after just a half hour. So I accepted that and lived with it for all those years. [Editor's note: Waller later clarified that it was a misdiagnosis, at least for clinical depression—a very real chemical/physical illness that usually does require medication to manage.]

During that whole time, I was trying to make Christian music, but I think my motives were mixed. If God had granted the desires of my heart during that time as an individual who was not completely free [from depression], I really do believe it would have been disastrous for me. But the last three-and-a-half years have been the best years because I'm starting from a new place of freedom.

How did that freedom come about?

Waller Right before I left for Colorado, I met some people who challenged my thinking on depression. They basically asked, "If Jesus died on the cross to bring us abundant life and freedom from the curse of sin, do you think constant despair and darkness is a part of that?" I said, "No, not according to his word it's not." [Editor's note: Again, it's vital to note that Waller's condition was not clinical depression. Scripture indeed does state that God delivers us from spiritual despair and darkness, but it is also clear that often, in his sovereignty, God allows us to wrestle with certain afflictions and thorns in the flesh. Many, many devout Christians diagnosed with clinical depression are well aware that the existence of their condition does not contradict God's Word or indicate a lack of faith.]

So my thinking started changing that day, and they prayed over me. I really asked God to change me—to heal and deliver me. Several months later, I began to wean myself off the medication. I wouldn't endorse just going off medication, but I could tell I was changing. My emotions were beginning to function more normally. I truly realized I was free of that.

next page... |  1 of 4

				Try 3 Issues of Christianity Today Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address Subscribe to Christianity Today and get 3 free trial issues. No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. If you decide you want to keep Christianity Today coming, honor your invoice for just $19.95 and receive nine more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The three trial issues are yours to keep, regardless.

FREE Newsletter Sign up now for the Christian Music Today weekly newsletter:    RSS Feed   RSS Help