A year ago, John Waller had assumed his recording career was behind him. His band, According to John, never took off like he had hoped in the late '90s, and he had moved on to a rewarding position as worship pastor at SouthLink Church in Colorado. But it was there that the road back to the music business began. A batch of songs written for the congregation led to a new recording contract with Beach Street Records, the label founded by Mark Miller of Sawyer Brown and home to Casting Crowns. Billboard magazine has since named Waller one of the 10 Faces to Watch in 2007. Waller talked to us about how failure, recovery from depression, and Old Testament tradition have all helped him better understand God's love and the importance of blessing others.

Congratulations on the release of your solo debut. Was it worth the wait?

John Waller: Absolutely! When I was 19, God gave me the vision to travel and use the gifts he's given me to speak truth into people's lives. Now I'm 36, standing on the other side of a 17-year process, and it's so amazing to look back on it. I spent 14 years trying to make it happen, and 3 years letting God do it. I can really see God's hand and faithfulness. If he had done it any earlier, it would have been disastrous for me.

Why is that?

Waller: Four years ago, God delivered me from a 20-year struggle with depression and medication. My grandmother struggled with it. My mother still does today, and when I was 12, she took me to the doctor. He "diagnosed" me with it after just a half hour. So I accepted that and lived with it for all those years. [Editor's note: Waller later clarified that it was a misdiagnosis, at least for clinical depression—a very real chemical/physical illness that usually does require medication to manage.]

During that whole time, I was trying to make Christian music, but I think my motives were mixed. If God had granted the desires of my heart during that time as an individual who was not completely free [from depression], I really do believe it would have been disastrous for me. But the last three-and-a-half years have been the best years because I'm starting from a new place of freedom.

How did that freedom come about?

Waller: Right before I left for Colorado, I met some people who challenged my thinking on depression. They basically asked, "If Jesus died on the cross to bring us abundant life and freedom from the curse of sin, do you think constant despair and darkness is a part of that?" I said, "No, not according to his word it's not." [Editor's note: Again, it's vital to note that Waller's condition was not clinical depression. Scripture indeed does state that God delivers us from spiritual despair and darkness, but it is also clear that often, in his sovereignty, God allows us to wrestle with certain afflictions and thorns in the flesh. Many, many devout Christians diagnosed with clinical depression are well aware that the existence of their condition does not contradict God's Word or indicate a lack of faith.]

So my thinking started changing that day, and they prayed over me. I really asked God to change me—to heal and deliver me. Several months later, I began to wean myself off the medication. I wouldn't endorse just going off medication, but I could tell I was changing. My emotions were beginning to function more normally. I truly realized I was free of that.

Are you saying that Christians who are struggling with mental illnesses or other conditions should be able to stop taking medication at some point?

Waller: Definitely not. I do believe that we are in a fallen world and our bodies are wasting away on the outside while being renewed on the inside, and I'm sure there are physical illnesses that won't necessarily go away in our lifetime.

But for me, my illness did start with a way of thinking. It did start with something that was spoken over me [by my mother], manifesting itself physically over time. For years I never truly understood who I was in Christ. Today, I know who I am [because of him]. For me, my depression wasn't physical; it was a mind that began to function normally, embracing the truth not just as head knowledge, but also truly in my heart.

It seems like your song "Identity" could easily have been the title track. That theme is so strong on the CD.

Waller: My sister said you have to write a song about our identity in Christ. And she was right because I had really only begun to realize who I was. I asked, "Who is Christ? Who is God? What do I know about God?" I knew about the fruits of the Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, and so on. I thought if that's true of Christ, then it's got to be true of me as well.

A lot of those truths really conflict with our wrong pattern of thinking. Joy and peace really conflict with darkness and despair. There's not a lot of room for darkness and despair if you have love, joy, and peace. That was a huge breakthrough for me, and it was a joy to be able to put it into a song.

Then suddenly Billboard names you the top Christian artist to watch for in 2007. That must have been affirming.

Waller: I was stunned. I thought, Are they really talking about me? God has humbled me [in my time as] a worship pastor, and that's all I've been for the last three-and-a-half years. To read that [in Billboard] just didn't seem right, but it's an honor.

After embracing the role of worship pastor all these years, how will you leave that behind?

Waller: I spent three-and-a-half years pouring myself into this congregation, and they have blessed us to go. They feel like they're sending us out like missionaries. We're definitely going to stay connected. They've invested in me to see these songs come to life, and I've invested in them.

What was your last Sunday at SouthLink like?

Waller: It was a true, authentic celebration of a chapter of faithfulness and fruitfulness.We ended by singing "Something Big" [from The Blessing] with everyone standing and praising God for what he has done and what he is doing: "It's time to dream big dreams/To see Your vision become reality/'Cause it's for You, by You." I was sent out with such a blessing—no pun intended.

SouthLink isn't a large church, so how did it come to raise $50,000 to help you record your independent project?

Waller: For the first year-and-a-half, I had a lot of According to John CDs. One of them was an album that never got released. When we moved to Colorado, we had all these CDs on hand, so we decided that every family that came to the church would get one, allowing the music to minister to them and hoping they would pass that on to someone else to draw them to the church. After about a year-and-a-half, I began writing songs just for the people at SouthLink, inspired by them and what God was doing in the church. Each week I'd teach my worship team a new song, and after a while the people began asking, "When are we going to get this music?"

We cast a vision to raise money for this project and raised a little over $50,000 in four weeks. I also cast the vision to some of my friends back in Georgia. Dan Cathy, the president of Chick-Fil-A, is a friend of mine that I've known for a long time—his dad (and company founder) Truett Cathy was my Sunday school teacher—so he contributed a lot to the project. The church owns 75 percent of the recording, so there is a business advantage for SouthLink, too. Beach Street ended up purchasing a lot of those master recordings from the church. About four or five of the songs carried over from the indie project [to The Blessing], and I've also signed for a large portion of my royalties to go back to SouthLink.

Does it worry you that this life-changing return to a recording career will affect your family?

Waller: For years, when I toured with According to John, my wife always got left behind. I made a commitment to her several years ago that if God ever opened the door again for us to go out and minister on a larger scale, I would not leave her behind. So when this opportunity came, we realized that for me to keep that promise, we needed to be someplace geographically where we could make it work. All my family lives in Fayetteville, Georgia, so we felt like we needed that kind of support—to be close by them so they can help us with our kids from time to time [when we're on the road].

We also have a bus that we had from According to John that I was never able to sell, and we've been paying on it the entire time. Every month when we made that payment, I'd think, What a waste! But then I'd say, "God, you're going to redeem it and it's not going to go to waste," and now as it turns out, we have the bus for a reason after all.

Do you have much planned as far as touring?

Waller: We're in the process of booking some promotional stuff in the spring, but I'm going out with Casting Crowns in the fall. We're just taking this one step at a time. The single is finding a lot of favor with radio. I think we'll have a lot of opportunities, and it's going to keep us busy.

Judging from the songs on this album, you seem to have a special attraction to the Old Testament.

Waller: I do. You can really see the whole concept of blessing through the patriarchs: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. I was really fascinated by a book called The Forgotten Blessing by Aaron Fruh and his study on how the patriarchs verbally blessed their children—the process they would go through, and how much men desired the blessing of their fathers. It's something that's never caught on in the Christian church, and I'd like to be a part of in bringing it back, so I began to practice it in my own life.

How has the concept of blessing impacted your life with your family?

Waller: I had my father's approval, but I've actually gone back to my father to get his blessing. I said, "Dad, I want you to bless me like this. Here are some things I want you to say when you bless me." Blessings like what Jacob spoke over Joseph's sons and specifically the priestly blessings.

Those are important blessings and I speak them over my children constantly. Becoming a father is one of the best things that ever happened to me. It gives you a better perspective on God. The love I have for my kids is unconditional—they could never earn it. In that way, I finally get a picture of God's love for me.

What do you hope people will take from your song "The Blessing?"

Waller: I don't want to just move them emotionally. I think my calling is to impart something to people so that literally there is something there that wasn't there before. I want to have a person say from here on out, "I'm done cursing. I'm done cursing myself. I'm done cursing my wife. I'm done cursing my kids. I'm going to start blessing. I want to give people a new legacy."

For more about John Waller and his debut, visit our site's artist page. You can read our review of The Blessing by clicking here. Check out Christianbook.com to listen to clips and buy his music.

© Stan Friedman, subject to licensing agreement with Christianity Today International. All rights reserved. Click for reprint information.

Click here for more interviews.

Click here to view our music review archives.

Visit the artist pages for related interviews and reviews.

				Try an Issue of Today's Christian Woman Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. Click here for International orders. If you decide you want to keep Today's Christian Woman coming, honor your invoice for just $17.95 and receive five more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The trial issue is yours to keep, regardless. Give Today's Christian Woman as a gift Buy 1 gift subscription, get 1 FREE!

FREE Newsletter Sign up now for the Christian Music Today weekly newsletter:    RSS Feed   RSS Help