When it comes to Christian music veterans, Kathy Troccoli may not be the first name that comes to mind. But she wouldn't blame you. She says the odds of CCM superstardom were always against her: her smoky contralto, her New York attitude, her lack of schooling in all things Christian music. She grew up hoping to land in a jazz club, not making a name in the church-music circuit. Still, after a long period of soul-searching, trial-and-error, and performing other people's songs, she found her own voice, eventually loving her role as an inspirational great—not just in song, but also in spirit. This year, Troccoli celebrates her 25th year in Christian music. We reminisced with her about her long career, her cabaret dreams, and her newfound freedom as an artist, writer and speaker.

This is your 25th year in Christian music. Did you ever dream of making it this far?

Kathy Troccoli: I really just started out singing to Carole King records in the '70s. There's some of that music on The Story of Love. A lot of that music is what I was weaned on. In my family we played pop music, never rock music, and mostly standards. So the music that I loved, that was always my art, was this gorgeous, romantic music.

So when I started singing, I had hoped to be the lead singer for the jazz band in high school, I went to Berklee's jazz school in Boston. The only reason I went to college was because my mother told me, "Listen, [music] is just a volatile and uncertain industry. I would love for you to get an education and fall back on teaching." I was not interested in that at all, but I wanted to please her.

Teaching, singing—sounds like what you're doing now.

Troccoli: During college I met the Lord, and that changed all the direction of what my life was going to be about. The problem was that you had this kind of music that I loved, and yet you had me wanting to represent the gospel for God. And you can't do it through cocktail music, which is really my style (laughs). So I started singing ballads, mostly accompanied by piano and guitar. If you listen to my early recordings, the label got Michael W. Smith, Amy Grant, and Gary Chapman to write all of my stuff, because my songs weren't great. They were trying to help me find a style.

Throughout my career, there were small glimpses of who I really am. I envy people who come out—like Norah Jones, she's totally who she is. I was so happy that in her early 20s she was absolutely doing what she should do, which is bringing over nationally what you were doing in the clubs. That wasn't my story. I kinda had to grow into who I am, because you had the added extra of wanting to represent the gospel.

So you're saying that the gospel and jazz music can't coexist?

Troccoli: I can explain it like this: If MercyMe is playing in a club somewhere in Manhattan, they're not going to change their style. MercyMe in a club and MercyMe in a church are the same thing. If I wanted to do the music that I was doing in the clubs, that wouldn't be what I sang at First Baptist Church in Atlanta in the early '80s. I never felt led to do that jazz and big-band kind of music in the church. It didn't feel right to me. It's more romantic, the phrasing is different. It's almost too Vegas to do in the church. So when you say, "Can they coexist?" I believe now they can. I believe if I make a jazz record, my audience would really appreciate it.

I would be the first one in line to buy it.

Troccoli: And we're pursuing that. I'm looking at some companies in New York that I would love to make that kind of record with. But when I was this young believer and I was in a young church, you didn't have the music you have now. I was 21 or 22 years old. It was like, "Here's Kathy for the kids, everyone." But the thing is, I wasn't singing for the kids when I was a kid. I was worried about my age at 16 and singing at the local dinner lounge to 20-, 30-, 40-, 50-, and 60-year-olds. So I went through this learning curve, but all of it has made me who I am.

As you were trying to find your voice in your growing-up years, did you feel frustrated you couldn't do the music you loved?

Troccoli: I think so. It's hard to see when you're in your early 20s and you're moving to Nashville and you're getting a record deal. You're in the midst of this cycle. I knew it wasn't totally me, but I didn't know what to do about it. People my age, when they look back on their 20s, no matter what they're doing for a living, they'll go, "Yeah, that wasn't quite the best job."

I wasn't brought up with church music. I was new to it. I was this Italian New York girl going to the south with this heavy accent and a different look. I wasn't a southern princess, and I say that in the best of ways, like an Amy Grant. Amy Grant was the girl next door. What was so great at the time was, [my first album] Stubborn Love did wonderfully because they were heart songs, and they were great songs. I think it was a great record. But I'm singing Michael W. Smith songs. Songs that are great songs, but I'm not sure they represented where I was at the time.

I got frustrated, but I don't regret or resent any of it because it helped me attain longevity, it helped me fight for some things I wanted. There are artists who were in Christian music 10 years ago that are gone. I'm very proud of where I've gotten.

You've mentioned Michael W. Smith. Most people don't know you were the one Reunion Records was created for, not him.

Troccoli: Let me say this: I'm still thankful to this day to Dan Harrell and Mike Blanton for starting Reunion Records. I remember them taking me to different companies and different people in town, and they would say, "This girl has a smoky voice. We really like her, but we don't know what to do with her." I wasn't the sweetie stereotype of what a Christian singer should be. I'll never forget them saying, "We were dreaming and scheming about starting a company. Maybe we'll just start it earlier." So I'm thankful for that.

You left Christian music in the mid '80s, and right after that, you scored your biggest hit yet. Tell me about that period.

Troccoli: I left Christian music in the mid '80s. I was done with it. I was in a lot of brokenness when I left. My mother got cancer and was dying when I moved out of Nashville. A lot stuff going on. I met this incredible producer, Rick Wake, who has produced Celine Dion and Taylor Dayne. "Everything Changes" had been written for Taylor Dayne, but she passed on it. Rick liked me and decided that he would produce it.

The song started to get played on [mainstream] radio. I had this incredible pop ride. I remember going, "I'm on the Tonight Show. I'm on Regis & Kathy Lee." I would rather be sitting on a stool with a standup bass player and a guitarist and a keyboard player singing standards. But it didn't work out that way. Five or six years later Mike Blanton asked me, "Do you want to come back to Reunion?"

So even at the height of your popularity, you still didn't enjoy it. When did you start loving what you did?

Troccoli: When I started to love a record—and I mean really love a record—was Sounds of Heaven [1995]. I sat with [former Reunion executive] Don Donahue and I said, "If I'm going to do a record, it's going to be mostly ballads, 'cause that's what I love." And people at the company were going, "This is going to be a sleeper." And I said, "Just let me do it." And it was the one that sold the most. It had the most singles. It was the most exciting to sing for me. And that's where I felt that I started a little bit getting my feet into the water of going, "This feels good and people are responding to it."

Would you say you took the reins of your career from this point forward?

Troccoli: I started to take more control. I really did. I did Love and Mercy, which is my favorite along with Sounds of Heaven. I did Corner of Eden—[producer] Nathan DiGesare and I wrote a lot of beautiful songs for it. Then I went on my happy trail with Love Has a Name. Then The Heart of Me was the last album I did with Reunion. [At that point] I felt like the industry was growing in a musical way that wasn't me. I saw myself going, "I don't care. Why does everybody want to appeal to a younger audience?"

That's when I finally left the company. I left with a great working relationship—as a matter of fact, they're the ones who distribute my [new] records. But I went in and said, "Basically your goals as a company and mine aren't the same." I started to do lots of women's events. I started to speak. I started to write books. I thought I needed to go down this road that I've wanted to go musically for years.

So now you're putting out music on your own, including your latest, The Story of Love.

Troccoli: I've just had so much freedom in the last several years to have a bit of a break from the industry, but not a break from my audience. I have so much freedom in everything I do. I don't have a [record label] guy telling me, "Well, that's not hip and cool. We don't know if that'll sell." But it doesn't matter any more because I'm really gearing it towards what I love and my audience. I'm singing what I was made to sing.

You've become a bit of a multi-tasker—you're an author, speaker, cruise organizer. Would you say music has taken a back seat to those things?

Troccoli: No. Music is still at the forefront. One day I'll do a concert. Some other time I'll have an all-day event with three sessions—I'll sing in the morning for an hour, I'll speak for two sessions, and I'll sing in between, just to prop up a point. But the singing is where God has called me. What has happened, my story—the things I've gone through—naturally allows me to become a speaker. I'm not claiming I'm an exhorter or an encourager. I'm much more of a motivational Christian speaker than a teacher. Everything I speak about is hope.

What are your thoughts on the current Christian music scene?

Troccoli: I think we have incredible talent out there. I love that you have the Third Days, the Relient Ks and all this amazing array of artists that I never dreamed 25 years ago would happen. I loved that we have the Chris Tomlins that are creating unbelievable contemporary worship for the church. But what I'll always be afraid for—and I challenge myself on this—is to make sure that Jesus and a lot of what he represents is sacred.

All these young groups coming up are finding their way, just like I was. I just hope and pray that we'll continue to have strong ambassadors, strong characters in the Christian music scene. There's such a fine line in the business and the ministry, I don't think you can ever truly combine the two. There's always an element of Madison Avenue that has to happen. I pray that we don't lose ourselves to the point where we have to ask, "Where's the heart of Jesus in this?"

For more information on Kathy Troccoli, visit our site's artist page for her. You can read our review of her album The Story of Love by clicking here. Visit Christianbook.com to listen to clips and buy her music.

© Andree Farias, subject to licensing agreement with Christianity Today International. All rights reserved. Click for reprint information.

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