Coming Clean
The controversial singer opens up about his addiction to painkillers, his long road to physical and spiritual recovery, and how this Prodigal has finally come home.
by Andree Farias | posted 3/24/2008
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Michael English is back. No, really … he is. After a much-publicized fall from grace in the '90s, the powerhouse singer came back to Christian music in 2000, only to learn the hard way that he wasn't ready. Afflicted with an addiction to painkillers, the singer once again put his career on the backburner for several years before he could even think about performing again. English had lost it all: his family, his career, even his voice. Yet after a slow and gradual process of physical and spiritual restoration, English is back again with a new album and a book, both titled The Prodigal Comes Home. In this conversation with Christian Music Today, English opens up about his addiction to painkillers, his long road to recovery, and how he doesn't care much about being the center of attention anymore—as long as he's at peace with himself and doing what God has called him to do.
Michael, what's it like to get back into the old routine of media promotions and interviews?
Michael English It's really interesting because I hadn't really been doing it much. Back in the day when I was doing a lot of it, you get tired of doing it all the time and talking about yourself. For interviews, you basically say a lot of the same stuff again and again, so it gets kind of monotonous. But I've been out of the loop for a long time, and I'm like a new artist again. Not to mention the feeling of thankfulness in a situation like mine—to know you've been accepted again. Not everyone is, but I'm thankful that most people are.
The title of your new album is The Prodigal Comes Home. You attempted to "come back home" in 2000 with the album Heaven to Earth? Why didn't that pan out?
English To be honest with you, I really wasn't ready to come back at that time. I missed making music, but Michael English himself was not quite ready. On the inside, I was like, OK, I've gotten my life back together … other than the addiction to painkillers. And I guess I thought it was something I could beat while doing the record, but it backfired on me. It really goes to show that you need a clear heart and a clear mind before you dive headfirst into this kind of thing. I wanted to be ready, but I wasn't.
I know some people aren't going to accept [what I say], but this time, I really believe in my heart that Michael English is finally ready. It's a great feeling to be able to lay my head on my pillow every night and know in my heart that as a human being I'm as clear and clean as I can be. I've got my life and my strength back, and I finally see eye-to-eye with God. I don't have to worry over the other stuff, because when you're heart is right [with God], you have a clear conscience.
There was a song on that Heaven to Earth album called "Finally Free." But that wasn't the case back then?
English No. That was a great song that I wish so much would have come along to me now. Like I said, I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to sing those songs. But that doesn't negate the fact that they were great songs. Back then, when I went out to sing, I think I was just trying to turn things around and sing to try to help people, because God knows I needed help myself.
How bad was your addiction to painkillers?
English The doctors and experts told me that it was as bad as you can get without shooting up. It's kind of hard to explain to those who don't know. You've heard of the drug OxyContin? I got to the point where I would chew my pills up because they were time-released. And I'm scared to mention that [and give people ideas] because the reason I did it was because I heard someone else talk about it. But that's where I was. There were pills that were 80 milligrams each, and I would chew up five of those at a time. Then 30-60 minutes later, I'd chew a few more. That's how bad it was.
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