Canadian Sermon Types, eh?

And now for something completely different...

Neil Young, who pastors Erindale United Church in Mississauga, Ontario, sent us this inventory of sermon styles in the Great White North.

The Maple Syrup: Boils source material down to about 1/50th its starting volume.

The Mountie: When it's most dressed-up, it doesn't arrest anybody.

The Igloo: Goes 'round and 'round until a final capstone is dropped in.

The Curling: Kind of incomprehensible, but everybody seems to have a good time.

The Lacrosse: Fast, hard-hitting, and it's hard to see the points as they're made.

The Hockey Fight: Staggers unsteadily, swinging wildly, but lands a punch or two.

The Canadian: Overly apologetic.

The Snowmobile: Loud and a bit obnoxious, but takes you places you otherwise wouldn't go.

The Beaver: Dams everything in sight.

The Maple Leaf: Has 11 points; always ends up falling to the ground.

February 21, 2008

Displaying 1–8 of 8 comments


March 08, 2008  7:53pm

The Loonie: Offers some 'bang for its buck', but its value is constantly up for debate, as its too influenced by the current American trends.

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Raspberry Rabbit

February 26, 2008  11:16am

Thanks for these. Hopefully my Scottish congregation will now understand their expat priest a bit better.

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Gary Sweeten

February 23, 2008  7:11am

Snowfall in the city: you can't hear it because of all the noise people are hearing.

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February 22, 2008  5:09pm

Another Newfoundland Sermon: "Always a half hour later than everyone else" You have to watch CBC television to get that one.

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February 22, 2008  3:31pm

The Newfoundlander: Starts out on solid ground but then goes fishing and never comes back. Or the Albertan: A wealth of natural resources, but never taxes anyone.

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Carey Nieuwhof

February 22, 2008  12:00am

the snowsquall: has no idea where its heading any more and ends up in the ditch.

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February 21, 2008  10:15pm

Is his name actually Neil Young? There's probably a dozen models right there.

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mike rucker

February 21, 2008  10:45am

i can add one: The Charismatic: each congregant hears the sermon in his or her own native tongue (as long as it's English or French), but sermons are only given when an interpreter is present. and i've never even been to canada... eh?

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