A majority of pastors are "feelers," meaning that the feelings, the dignity, and the approval of people tend to rank high in their decision-making process.

Since I am by nature a "feeler," having to rebuke someone has always been difficult for me. I would rather be rebuked than to rebuke. Why? I struggle with the confidence that my judgment of a person's actions or attitudes is the correct one because I tend to see many sides to every story. I fear the possible loss of a relationship. I do not like to wound people.

The following are principles of rebuke that I have found helpful:

1. Make sure that there is no way my rebuke can be misunderstood.
2. Never rebuke someone when my anger is hot.
3. Don't rebuke in writing or by phone; only face to face (and, if necessary, with a witness).
4. Don't destroy the other's dignity.
5. Make sure I have the whole story.
6. Make sure my own motives and purposes are clarified.
7. Make sure that I identify the implications of the behavior.
8. Always provide an opportunity for the person to acknowledge wrong and gain a new start.