Jump directly to the Content

10 Rules for Respect

One way to build trust.

When I came to this church five years ago, many of my board members had grandchildren older than I was. Most of the rest had children my age. At age 23, I was their pastor. That was intimidating.

I was told by a mentor that I would have to have some rules of the road for communicating with my congregation. How would I get people so much older than I to talk to me rather than among themselves?

The list I drew up has evolved into ten principles that have transformed the way our church communicates. They now form a covenant signed each year by all the leaders, including me.

  • If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).

  • If I have a problem with you, I'll come to you (privately).

  • If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I'll do the same for you.)

  • If someone consistently will not come to me, say, "Let's go to the pastor together. I am sure he will see us about this." (I will do the same for you.)

  • Be careful how you interpret me—I'd rather do that. On matters that are unclear, do not feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to misinterpret intentions.

March
Support Our Work

Subscribe to CT for less than $4.25/month

Homepage Subscription Panel

Read These Next

Related
Sermon Names in the News
Sermon Names in the News
Are you piquing people's interest?
From the Magazine
Should the Bible Sound Like the Language in the Streets?
Should the Bible Sound Like the Language in the Streets?
Controversy over Bibles in Jamaica, the Philippines, and Germany reveal the divide between the sacred and the relatable.
Editor's Pick
What Christians Miss When They Dismiss Imagination
What Christians Miss When They Dismiss Imagination
Understanding God and our world needs more than bare reason and experience.
close