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Cheer Up!
7 singles share how they encourage others—or themselves—in tough seasons.
May 14, 2008
WooHoo for You
When my friends feel down, I try to remember something great they've done—a time they showed kindness to a friend, excelled at a work project, or inspired me with a spiritual insight. Then I praise them for this good deed.
Also, I try not to act as if I have all the answers. I don't offer unsolicited advice. I'm patient, and I tell my friends I support them. Most often, they want me just to be there for them and offer comfort through my physical presence.
-Darlene
And a Child Shall Lead Them
Playing with children brings me joy (at least most of the time!), and helps me take the focus off my problems. So I teach a children's Sunday school class, work at a daycare center, and play with my six nieces and nephews. Kids like me for simply me. They don't care what I look like, what I do for a living, whether or not I'm married. When I show them love, they reciprocate it tenfold. They love hugs. And they make me laugh.
-Kerry
Library Sweet Library
Going out with friends for coffee or sushi is my usual remedy when I get sick of myself. Also, my local library has a sweet DVD collection I've been raiding lately to catch up on TV shows and movies I'd missed. And there's always reading.
-Talicia
Friend of the Year
After a painful medical procedure, I recently had a follow-up doctor's visit. My friend Tiffany, a fellow actress, picked me up, took me to breakfast and my appointment, then rearranged her whole day to become my last-minute understudy because my doctor told me I couldn't perform on stage the next day.
Tiffany blessed me with her company. And my poor dog, who'd been bored during my illness, was thrilled to play with Tiffany's sweet cocker spaniels for the afternoon. Tiffany also cut my hair so I could wash it more easily. That's some deep friendship and loving support!
-Andrea
Being Aware
To help a hurting friend, do something out of the ordinary, and tailor the activities to the person's likes or reasons for her angst. Possible pick-me-ups include eating hot fudge sundaes while lounging on a pier to watch dolphins frolic, walking in a nature preserve, watching a feel-good chick flick while munching popcorn, sitting by the pool while sipping fruity drinks, attending a concert in the park, enjoying a day at the zoo, indulging in a pedicure, or cooking a meal together.
Being aware of others' needs is crucial. Many singles, including me, aren't eager to share their pain—even with another single, and especially not at church, where they're likely to get more platitudes than genuine support. So the time you take in finding out how someone is really doing is probably more important than what you do in responding.
-Julie
The Power of Praise
During difficulties, friends' simply being available and concerned for me makes a difference. They've let me cry and shed my emotions so I can move on. My friends have also prayed with me and reminded me God knows and is handling my pain, even though I don't always feel he is.
One particular tough time, a friend suggested I keep praise music playing. I did so throughout the night, even while I slept. In the middle of the night, when I woke up to use the bathroom, hearing praise music was soothing. And in the morning, the music gave my home a peaceful atmosphere.
-Annette
Count My Blessings
When I go through a tough singleness season, I thank the Lord for all my guy friends, married or not, and for their awesome qualities. Then I thank God for my "someday someone" out there. I pray God would bring that man and me together soon, before I keel over dead! And I ask God to make me into the woman he wants me to be while I wait for this guy. These prayers always make me feel better.
-Nicole
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