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Sick-Day Strategies
6 singles share how they handle being under the weather all by themselves
March 14, 2007
Counting on Community
Being single and sick is almost as bad as being single with car trouble. A few years ago, I came down with the stomach flu the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. I wasn't able to eat anything on Thursday, so it was OK that I didn't have any "sick-time" food in the house. Friday morning, feeling a tad better, I dragged myself to the grocery store in my sweats for canned soup, saltines, and ginger ale. The only other people in the store were a couple who seemed to be buying enough food to feed a small orphanage. And of course I ended up behind them in line at the only open check-out counter. I was so sick, I had to leave my cart to make an emergency run to the bathroom. Since that experience, I've begun keeping a stash of canned soup and saltines in my pantry.
I've been blessed with various single friends over the years who have brought me food, tea, flowers, and cough drops when I've been sick. I'm now attending a small church where I know everyone, which has been a huge encouragement. I almost cried when one of the dear ladies from church brought me gourmet soup and goodies recently when she learned I sick.
It's a humbling experience to be sick and in need of friends to bring you necessities. But it's also a wonderful encouragement to know you're loved and have people around who will be there for you when you need them.
Amy
A Matter of Perspective
A day or two in bed has its upside, believe it or not. I lie in bed, read my Bible, tend to doze off, wake up, read a bit, doze off. As this pattern carries on, I find the Scriptures are a blessing. Normally one line speaks to me, or a concept I hadn't considered before. In spending this extra time in the Word, I feel a close communion with God. And I wonder whether he allows me to get sick so I'll spend this extra time with him.
Of course, I must still get out of bed, get into my car, and drive to the pharmacy whenever I need something. It's been like this for years now. But when I think of those who are suffering and have no access to medicine, I'm more than happy to go get mine. I used to live in Africa, and some of the rural hospitals there were so short of medicine they used to give patients an aspirin and send them home.
Still, I wouldn't mind it if someone showed me a bit of care and compassion when I'm feeling down!
David
Taking Stock
Having gone through three major surgeries, three months of bed-rest, and an additional five-day hospital stay—all as a singleton with no one to help—frustration set in. I had to have a married friend's husband give me a ride to the hospital before my surgeries, and then call a cab or take a bus home from the hospital. Recovering at home was truly a challenging time, but thankfully it brought me closer to the Lord.
Since then, I now keep a plastic box in my cupboard with everything I could possibly need—cough drops, tablets for every kind of digestive issue, allergy/headache/congestion stuff. I also keep plenty of easy-to-fix stuff in my freezer for just such an occasion, since cooking is the last thing you want to do when you're wobbly-kneed or your stomach is churning. Whenever I make soup, I fill a couple of individual serving containers and freeze them for future ailments. When I'm sick, I set a tray next to my bed with water, tea, my medicine box, tissues, and a trash basket to minimize my risk of getting up and passing out.
We're in the process of starting a single women's group at our church, and the other single gals I've spoken with have all faced similar issues. We're excited about the chance to come together and not only minister to our church body, but to truly support each other during those challenging times.
Danielle H.
Not Home Alone
I must admit I feel blessed. When I'm sick, I can call my friends and ask them for what I need. I've worked hard to cultivate a few friendships where we have that type of closeness. I also run errands for them when they're sick as well.
Also, I've chosen not to live by myself, even though I am in my 30s and can financially afford to do so. I've made this choice for the accountability and community. I always know there's someone there who knows what's going on with me. If I'm out late, she wants to know why. If I get depressed and start in on a quart of ice cream, she's there to coax me out of my self-pity. Also, I'm forced to communicate and learn to get along with someone very different from me. If I start to walk out of the house in a horrible outfit, there's someone there to say, "Really?" And if I'm sick, there's someone to go to the grocery store for me.
Even though sharing a home is frustrating and difficult sometimes, it has its rewards.
Kimberly
The Great Physician
For me, being single and sick provides one of many amazing opportunities to rely more on God and less on man (or woman, since I'm a guy). Although I can't deny the feeling of loneliness for a more intimate, couple-like relationship at times, I know being single has helped me to seek God more during times of sickness than I might have if I had a significant other around to take care of me.
R. W.
Sweet Fellowship
I'm a single woman who's lived alone for many years. I haven't had a roommate since graduate school. However, about a year ago, I had to have major surgery that would make me unable to drive for several weeks. I knew the Lord would provide for all my needs, but I still tried to plan it out for myself.
Well, one of dear married friends decided to coordinate a six-week care plan. She developed a sign-up sheet for all my friends. Each precious friend signed up for a week, meaning they would call me, check on me, bring me food, take me to the doctor, etc. It was a such a blessing to feel loved and cared for during those long weeks of recovery. I can honestly say I never experienced one day of loneliness during my recovery, and I thought I'd experience it the whole time. I actually enjoyed my recovery—once I made it thru the painful part. The fellowship with my dear sisters and brothers was sweet!
Valencia
A "Family" Affair
My church encourages us all to be part of a community group, and I don't know what I'd do without mine. I'm a single mom with two kids, and my group has brought me "sick food" (soup, juice, and popsicles), taken my son to Scouts when I was on Vicodin, and driven me to the ER. Once, one of my group members drove an hour and a half round-trip at 1:00 in the morning to get my son's pain prescription filled.
In turn, I've picked up a group member's daughter when she was sick at school, taken others meals after surgery, and visited them in the hospital. We love each other and take care of each other. There's no way I'd make it as well in this life without having them around. God really showed his love for me when he brought this "family" into my life!
Cindy
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