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Living Single
8 people share why they choose to live alone or with others.
May 2, 2007
Surprise Family
Almost 13 years ago, I decided to move in with my best friend, her husband, and their two daughters, ages 9 and 13. Her husband had been laid off, and they didn't want to lose their house–so my rent money helped them. In turn, they helped me learn to live with others again, since I'd been on my own for a while.
Today I still live with my friend and her husband. Their girls have both grown up and gotten married. I'm no longer just a best friend who has no family nearby. I've been grafted into my best friend's family, including her extended family with seven nephews, nine nieces, and her father. I'd prayed for years for a family of my own. God answered my prayer, just in ways I didn't expect. I wouldn't have it any other way.
-Zina
Personal Sanctuary
I'm a 31-year-old single woman and have lived by myself for the past four years. I actually prefer it that way. The only roommate I desire to have is a husband (if indeed that's God's plan for me). For four out of my five years of college, I had roommates—and it was pure drama! At this stage in my life, I'm not interested in having that kind of drama in my home. I look forward to coming home and relaxing in my little apartment each day.
I thank God for the ability to live on my own. I've learned so much about what it takes to run a household and be financially responsible. Plus, I've definitely learned how to enjoy my own company. Some of my most precious moments are when I'm alone reading the Bible or spending as much time as I want praying out loud.
-Venita
Solo and Susceptible
I'm a divorced male empty nester who's had roommates in the past. I chose to live alone now basically because I can. After my son left home, I moved to a smaller city to grow in my career and live a less stressful life. I didn't know anyone in this city and was blessed to rent a small, two-bedroom home that was inexpensive and ideally located on a park and near work. Alone, it's easier to grow closer to God since there are fewer distractions. Also, it's nice to eat, sleep, read, and bike whenever I want.
However, when I'm alone, the evil one can attack easier as well. Also, I've been divorced and celibate for a long time and am starting to miss the sound of another person around the house. I get together regularly with friends of both genders, but it's not the same as hearing a woman singing to herself while puttering around our house.
-Ed
Too Much of a Good Thing
I lived both alone and with roommates off and on for many years. As much as I value my "alone time," I discovered too much of it was unhealthy for me, because I tended to become totally inward-focused and a bit of a hermit. Obviously this isn't good for me and isn't what God intends for my life, since he created me to be with people.
When expenses got the best of me, I moved in temporarily with a couple of friends. This worked so well and kept us all more active and involved, we decided to make it permanent. Together, we purchased a home none of us could've afforded alone. It's an excellent arrangement because each of us has space to be alone, companionship when we desire it, someone to help when we're sick or stressed, and people to pray with constantly.
-Julie
A Matter of Taste
Right now I live by myself in a small but comfortable apartment. Before living alone, I lived with my parents through college and with roommates after college. While I really enjoyed my time with roommates, one of the girls and I didn't get along well. Our sense of decorating style and personalities were vastly different. Because of that, I'm not thrilled about living with roommates again. So I decided until I get married, I'm living alone.
There are times I miss what I had with the other roommate: spontaneous dance parties, late-night talks, co-hosted dinner parties. But for the most part, I love living alone. I'm discovering my personal style, and decorating and buying furniture was so much fun. I bought a purple couch because it's my favorite color—and no one else has to like it. I'm constantly on the go, so when I'm at home, it's nice to have some space and quiet to myself.
-Sarah
Flirting with Temptation
I'm a single 29-year-old female, and I'm currently living with my sister. I've found that having roommates helps keep me from spiritual isolation and temptation. Post-college I lived alone, and that opened many doors to dark possibilities. I discovered when I wasn't accountable to anyone, I often felt it didn't really matter if I had a guy over for an innocent dinner and a movie. Over time, dinner and a movie turned into dinner and chit-chat, which eventually turned into no dinner and sex. Ultimately, when I'm not accountable to a roommate, I let my guard down and make the most obvious mistakes.
-Marcy
Investing in People
Ten years ago, I moved in with a woman from my church. She owned her own house, and I didn't want to live alone anymore, since I didn't like coming home after activities, such as leading youth group on a Friday night, to an empty house. In the years since, we've become good friends. For financial reasons, we decided to buy a house together—she was ready to invest in more property, and I couldn't have afforded to buy on my own. Unfortunately, this arrangement comes with some ugly suspicions from others, but honestly we're just good friends.
We've recently taken in a boarder who's soon to become a single mom. We want our house to be open to people who need temporary accommodation—people on missions furloughs or those unable to find affordable housing. My housemate is currently dating someone, and if they get married, I'll really miss our home.
-Ruth
A Place to Call Home
I lived alone right out of college. I'd always been afraid to fully embrace life, so I needed to prove to myself I could live alone. A couple years later, I got a roommate just to ease the financial strain of renting alone. I had a few different roommates until I decided to buy a condo.
Several of my friends were surprised when I told them I was purchasing a one-bedroom home on my own. I'm pretty extroverted, and they just couldn't imagine me living alone. But I realized I longed to create a home of my own. The women I lived with over the years were a true blessing, but I wanted to be able to decorate and make changes without having to "take it to committee" first. I love having my own place. Sometimes it can be lonely when I'm pondering the difficulties of this world late at night and I have no one to share them with. But being able to host a party at a moment's notice or to spontaneously open my home to someone in need makes it all worthwhile for me.
-Becky
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