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Turning Points
How and why six singles made major life changes
June 6, 2007
Letting Go
I was working in what I thought was my dream job, but deep down I knew it wasn't the best for me. I was depressed and lonely and questioning whether or not I belonged there. My questions were answered when I was let go from the job. At the time, I was devastated. I wondered what I could have done better, and I struggled with what was going to happen to me vocationally and financially. Over the next few weeks, I realized I was better off away from that workplace. God used my being let go to point me in the right direction.
It's been a couple months since I was let go, but I found a job—not my dream job, but something that will get me by until I find my dream job. I found a church I like with other young adults and am slowly starting to get involved. And I just moved into an apartment with a friend. These are all small steps, but they're steps in the right direction. I can honestly say I'm happier now than I was six months ago. I'm still not sure in which direction God's pointing me, but whatever way it is, I'm ready and willing to follow.
-Katie
First House
I'm a 46-year-old single woman, and I recently bought my first house! The opportunity presented itself, and I felt if God opened the door, I needed to step out in faith and take the chance. For financial reasons, my landlady needed to sell the house I'd been renting, and she gave me the first chance to buy it. I previously went through two other temporary living arrangements—a roommate of seven months got married, then another rental situation was reneged on after only four months. In that process, I moved three times in just 12 months. After renting this house for a year and a half, I certainly didn't want to move again if I didn't have to.
Prior to this, I'd always resisted purchasing a house. I figured that would happen when I got married, when I could share the financial burden and upkeep with my husband. This was such a huge commitment and financial step that while going through the process I told a friend I felt like I was getting married—to a house! My financial situation wasn't perfect, but God graciously made a way for me to purchase my home. I only had to come up with $560 cash, and I'll be able to pay the house off in only ten years. These facts feel like God's favor and confirmation that this is indeed his provision for me. Now, if something breaks I fix it—or I pay a handyman to fix it. In the process, I'm forced into a deeper trust that "My God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:19).
-Tammy
Redirected Energy
My turning point came when the woman I thought I was going to marry decided marriage wasn't for her at the moment. I turned my energy to God and my business. Both of these investments paid off instantly. My studying and service went to a whole new level; I became a Sunday school teacher and a men's small group leader within months. My business saw increased profits and unseen growth. The only thing I can say is "In all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
-Andre
Working Around the World
I took a big leap of faith and quit my job after 16 years. I decided since I didn't have any commitments that I would take a job that involved a lot of travel—both domestic and international. I'm so glad I made this change! I learned to be independent again after my divorce. I saw how very big our world is. And met some awesome new people. It's been a great experience these past few years, and if I wasn't single I wouldn't have been able to take this opportunity—and grow so much in the process. God was with me every step of the way.
-Julie
Eeyore No More
The start of my turning point was when I was talking with a couple of old friends. The two of them started reminiscing about the time they assigned a Winnie-the-Pooh character to each of the members of our Bible study group. It felt like a slap in the face when they told me I was Eeyore. It certainly woke me up.
This conversation took place shortly before I entered a very difficult period of my life health-wise. I ended up getting a total hysterectomy at the age of 33. For a never-married, no-kids gal, it was rough dealing with the loss. I confess I went through a mourning period. But I was determined not to revert to Eeyore status. I chose to trust that the Lord had a plan.
Turns out he did—and he graciously let me in on it. About a year after my surgery, I went to see a specialist after experiencing some other health problems. It turns out I have a genetic anomaly that causes blood clots if I have too much folic acid in my system. What's the first thing doctors put you on when you're pregnant? Folic acid! My hematologist explained that my case was such that I almost certainly would have miscarried any pregnancies—and I also could have died from a blood clot in the process.
I marvel at the glimpses of his plan that he lets me in on—and now I look for them, even in the little things. Maybe that woman ahead of me at the grocery store who was taking forever with the cashier was giving me an opportunity to chat with someone in line who needed cheering up. Maybe the sixth red traffic light in a two-mile stretch prevented me from being in an accident further down the road. The relationship that didn't work out and broke my heart may have thwarted my plans—but not God's.
Now when I catch myself moaning and groaning in my best Eeyore-fashion, I stop and wonder at what possible blessings could come out of this situation God allowed in my life. Not that I don't still have my moments; I'll never be a Tigger. But I'll be a donkey no more!
-Danielle
A Place to Call Home
I'm 37, and until this past year I'd never set up house before. I'm an American in the UK, and my job takes me all over the world. Most of the time I've been able to rent furnished apartments. This has been convenient, but I think it's also somehow prevented me from fully stepping into adulthood.
Going into my most recent move, I knew I'd need to buy appliances and furniture. It's been a challenge, but colleagues have given me great advice on various brands of home products. I lived frugally for nearly a year to afford all these purchases. And I waited months for a couple things I ordered to arrive; I wanted to value my home and pick items I really wanted, not just "get by" with what came easy. In the meantime, I survived with only a lounge chair, a beanbag, a bed, and a dresser. After all that, my place finally feels like home.
My married friends who have kids come over, and they love how peaceful it is. I've got an open door to whoever needs a bit of a break, and I love it when they take me up on it.
-Christine
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