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The Company Christmas Party
How 11 singles handle this sometimes meaningful, sometimes miserable event.
December 12, 2007
Sharing the Love
A co-worker and I pool our "and guest" reservations and give them to a couple who'd enjoy the outing. Last year we invited as our "dates" my brother and sister-in-law, who didn't get Christmas parties at their work, and we all had a great time.
Our office also has monthly outings—to the zoo, to a professional soccer game, to the nearby mountains for snow tubing. We can bring our significant others to several of these events. My coworker and I always help our friends enjoy a free activity, and, in turn, they help us not feel so "single."
-Pam
Treating Myself Right
I'm going solo to this year's company Christmas party. I could ask a man to accompany me, but why? Instead, I'll save some guy the embarrassment of "20 questions."
I'll consider this evening my treat to myself. I'll clean my car, put on a new dress, and take myself on a date. I don't dread it at all. I've been divorced seven years, and I'm comfortable being single. Really coming into my own has inspired an amazing transformation.
I can't wait to walk in that party's door, holding my head high and my shoulders back, looking absolutely stunning, and saying, "Merry Christmas, everybody!"
-Alicia
Focusing on Christ
This year my company Christmas party was a "Holiday Ball," complete with dining and dancing. As a widow in my mid-40s, I choose not to attend these types of events. Attending a function with young couples as the majority of the guests is too much stress for me this time of year. The number of people who ask if I'm seeing anyone yet always amazes me. Now that my children are grown, I prefer a low-key Christmas with the focus on Christ's birth and his wondrous love.
-Anna
Great Expectations
My company's Christmas party is at the office during the day. It's just the employees, and it's rather fun. If the party were at another venue in the evening, I'd feel comfortable going alone. Asking a date always carries the burden of Why? Will we go out again? Do we even want to? Sometimes, I find going alone easier than raising expectations for either my date or me if I intend nothing romantic thereafter.
-David
Mother and Child
I'm attending only my second Christmas party with this company, but I've started a tradition: I take my son. He's 13 now, and feels special going to this event. He receives attention, and I get to attend with someone I love and enjoy. Gone are the awkward moments and pressures of how to act, what to eat, or what to discuss. Taking my son to this party is great for both of us.
-Antionette
A Bold Move
This year I'll attend my first company Christmas party since my divorce three years ago. I considered going stag or with my brother and sister-in-law, who are also my coworkers. Instead, I decided to be bold and invite a man I'd befriended in my church's single-again support group. He and I have fun talking together, so we'll enjoy the evening. We've both felt like the odd one out lately, especially around Christmas party time. I don't know how the company party will go, but at least I have a plan and a new holiday outfit to make me feel special.
-Leslie
Get Out of Town!
This year I'm avoiding the party at all cost. I purposely scheduled an out-of-town weekend with two single friends also avoiding their dreaded Christmas parties. Our weekend away is the perfect scenario since it eliminates the stress over inviting someone or going solo, the expense of buying the "ultimate" dress and shoes, and the questions on any of the above information. This year will be the first in a long time when stress doesn't complicate a usually aggravating day.
-Ashley
Going Solo
Maybe I'm strange, but I don't mind going stag to the work Christmas party. Most of my coworkers are aware that I'm single and that I don't really date. They'd all faint if I showed up with someone. I go to all gatherings alone, without a second thought. I also go to restaurants and movie theaters alone. If anyone asks why I don't have a date, I just make a joke and continue with my life.
-Janet
A Painful Reminder
I haven't liked Christmas much of my adult life. One of the main reasons is Christmas parties without a date. At Christmas I feel more aware than ever of how single I am and how coupled everyone else seems to be. I try to avoid parties unless I feel emotionally healthy. Even though I'm rarely the only single woman at parties, I still don't care to be reminded of my solo state.
-Melanie
Answered Prayer
I work at a small company, where I've become good friends with and my boss's assistant, a lovely 60-year-old woman who lost her husband of 42 years earlier this year. I'm a 24-year-old who suffered a breakup with my college sweetheart last year. Since both my coworker and I are single for the first time in a while, I asked her to be my "date" for the Christmas party.
Being able to reach out to her was actually a wonderful answer to prayer. After my breakup, I asked God to help me not become completely inwardly focused. He guided me to James 1:27, about helping orphans and widows, and then opened a door for me to go visit the African orphan I sponsor through Compassion International. I was grateful for this blessing, but, in the back of my mind, I wondered, How am I to help widows if I don't know any, Lord? I'm thankful this Christmas to be able to help my friend.
-Alicia
Surprise Support
Since my divorce after 25 years of marriage, I haven't attended the past four staff Christmas parties. Set in someone's home, the party feels cozier than one in a more public location. The first year after the divorce, I braved the party. But being the only single staff member around all the couples was too difficult. I was overwhelmed with memories of attending when I was married, and I couldn't really excuse myself and leave in that home setting.
I was planning to skip the party again when the co-worker's spouse who's hosting this year's event asked me if I was coming. She commented she hadn't seen me at the last several Christmas parties. When I shared my feelings, she extended kindness and support. As a result, I agreed to attend, knowing I'll have this friend there to help me.
-Mary
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