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Blast From the Past
October 18, 2000

The voice on my answering machine was vaguely familiar. It was Daniel, a guy I'd met on a work project a couple years back. In a rare moment of single-girl boldness, I'd sent him a thank you note for a job well done — and included my business card with an invitation to coffee if he was ever in my neck of suburbia.

To my shock and delight, he'd called and we'd done coffee and lunch several times. And after several invitations, I met him for swing dancing one night at a local restaurant. To my shock and dismay, he'd also invited Charlotte. And they'd come together. Hmmm.

I saw Daniel and Charlotte together at several events (Christian circles are amazingly small in our area) and heard her drop not- so-subtle hints about their growing relationship: "Daniel and I talked about that yesterday … Daniel and I saw that movie, too … " I got her message loud and clear — and backed off as graciously and swiftly as my now-embarrassed self would move. Oh well … you win some, you lose some.

Daniel had called a few random times after that. Polite chit- chat. Professional updates. But I hadn't talked to him for more than a year now, so the out-of-the-blue message took me by surprise. He was going to be in my area to do lunch with a buddy, and he wanted to know if I'd be free for coffee after that. Then came the words that made my stomach drop: "I've got some great news to share with you."

To the very core of my being I wanted that news to be professional. Surely he was finally going into business for himself, a dream he'd shared with me often. But that little neurotic voice in the back of my head said, "He's going to tell you he and Charlotte got engaged." Surely he'd realize how tactless and awkward that would be, wouldn't he?

Trying my best to ignore that voice, I called him back and we set up a time to meet. Once again he mentioned some great news he wanted to share with me, but he wanted to tell me in person. Don't let it be an engagement, I thought over and over, trying my best to will this possibility away. It wasn't necessarily that I wanted to be the one dating and possibly getting married to him, it's just that I didn't want to have to sit there and smile and congratulate him, pretending he hadn't led me on a couple years earlier.

So, I breathed a prayer for a gracious response — no matter what the "great news" was — and met him the next day in the lobby of my office. We hugged hello and headed for his car, making polite conversation along the way. We were still in the car on the way to Starbuck's when he dropped the bomb: "She said 'yes!'"

Of course he meant Charlotte. Of course they were engaged. And of course that little neurotic voice in the back of my head had been right — again! I congratulated him with all the sincerity I could muster and smiled politely as he filled the next 45 minutes with talk of their premarital counseling and future plans. I nodded and sipped, nodded and sipped — thinking of how I would regale my girlfriends later with the absurdity of this situation. It was one of the best acting jobs of my life!

When Daniel finally finished his soliloquy of premarital bliss, he actually asked what was new in my life. Nice sentiment, awful timing. Like I had anything to compare with a wedding! So I told him about the committee I'd recently joined at my church to help plan a new Gen-X service, my upcoming business trip to Australia, my growing excitement for these very singles columns and the way God has been blessing others and myself with my random rants and reflections. I wasn't trying to prove anything, I was simply answering his question. When I finished, he paused and said, "Sounds like you're really doing single life the way God would want us to." It wasn't condescending; it was sincere. And revelatory — for me. I realized right along with Daniel that I've somehow stumbled into a pretty cool single life. Hmmm.

I still wanted to slug Daniel for having the audacity (after a year of silence) to call me up simply to tell me he's pledging his life-long love to someone else — and then making me sit through nearly an hour of mushy love stories. But now I also wanted to thank him for the fresh perspective with which to view my singleness. I did neither. Instead I thanked God, who'd obviously set up this little coffee date — and, amazingly, goes to sometimes-humorous lengths to remind us he's still moving in the midst of our singleness.

Blessings,
Camerin Courtney

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