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Twelve Months with Tyler
By Terry Plath
July 25, 2001
For the past year, my brother, sister-in-law, and nephew Tyler have been living in the next-door unit of my duplex while saving for a house of their own. Tyler's a busy little two-going-on-three year old, and I've watched him grow from a chubby little toddler into a chattering little man in this short time. We've had chances to bond on the couch watching videos, reading books about trucks and diggers, playing "chase" in the hallway. It's been the kind of relationship that at times has made me, a 31-year-old single Christian guy, really wonder what God's doing. You know those prideful thoughts — "Lord, look at how good I am with kids. Look at how responsible I am. People tell me I'm going to make a great father. So what are you waiting for? Where is she? Where's that Godly, beautiful woman who's going to be my wife and the mother to our little tribe?" Sure enough, over time, the Lord has given me my answer. And by the way, I'm still single.
Last Friday night was my latest Tyler babysitting adventure. When I walked in, Tyler was busy digging into his trademark mac'n'cheese and frozen corn dinner, but not too busy to give me a big smile, a big hug around the legs, and a "Hi Un-co Tay-wee!" I had a big night planned for us — airplane watching. After he finished his dinner, we headed to the airport and positioned ourselves close to the planes waiting for takeoff. As one of the planes pulled ahead, I noticed the cockpit window slide open and one of the pilots stick his arm out in a big wave at Tyler. He thought that was great.
After watching planes for a while, we headed back to the house for a nightcap of ice cream and a Veggie Tales video. After a quick diaper change (I'm still growing in that area), I carried the tired little guy back to his bedroom. He started to whine a little — okay, it was more of a wail — as I laid him in his bed. I could decipher something about Mom and Dad, but beyond that I couldn't gather much. Not quite sure what to do, I just laid my hand on his back and began to pray out loud that Jesus would give him peace and would take away his fear. Just like that, he stopped crying. Amazing. I stayed to watch his little body ease into sleep and then snuck out of the room. As I cleaned the place up that night, I thought about just how blessed I am. These twelve months with Tyler have given me the chance to get to know a nephew to whom I otherwise might have been just a distant uncle. I know for a fact that if I was married and had children, Tyler and I wouldn't have the same bond we now share. And the same goes for my other two nephews and niece who also live nearby. My sister was sharing recently how important she feels it is for their kids to have a Christian guy other than their dad to look up to, laugh and have fun with, and who will model a genuine life with Christ to them.
Beyond these significant blessings, over the past year my singleness has allowed me to go on mission trips to El Salvador and inner-city Minneapolis; take a ski trip to Utah; work late when I've needed to; go on guilt-free business trips around the U.S. and Europe; and basically live a carefree life serving God through leading a singles small group Bible study. Paul knew what he was talking about when he wrote in 1 Corinthians 7:32 (NLT), "In everything you do, I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord's work and thinking about how to please him." I've certainly had that opportunity this past year and have finally come to the point of being able to truly accept the fact that God may want me to stay single for the rest of my life. That's not what I desire, but if God wants it, I trust it's his best for me.
So a word of encouragement to all you singles out there — we've all got a potential Tyler in our life. Let's not spend our precious young-adult years straining to find our future mate at the expense of truly enjoying God's blessings here and now! He knows our needs and will meet them in his time. In the meantime, we can relax and go on living lives sold out for him and him alone.
Terry Plath, Minnesota
Special thanks to all who entered our Guest Columnist Contest. It was a tough call — you guys had great things to say! Look for more contests in future editions of The Singles Channel Newsletter.
Blessings!
Camerin Courtney
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