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The Hand I've Been Dealt
By Bebo Norman
February 20, 2002
Singleness is not an ailment or a condition. I don't say that in any sort of defensive way. Actually, I say it with laughter because it really is funny to me how hyper-sensitively this subject can be treated … sort of like it's a disease or an old war injury. Please know I am by no means trying to be insensitive to those who seriously may be struggling with loneliness or brokenness over their singleness. I struggle with those things too. (However, I think these things have more to do with life than singleness). It's just strange to me how cautiously people broach this subject with me, how carefully they deliver the inevitable questions.
For example, "How do you handle singleness? How do you make the most of it?" The implication of questions like these is that singleness is purely a burden, like losing your leg in a war or something, and the best you can do is cope with it. Singleness is not a loss. Nothing has been taken from me. Singleness is just part of my life (all of our lives, really), and what I do know is that life is a gift.
That being said, singleness hasn't been a decision for me. I am not that noble. I am not a spiritual giant who thinks it is just better this way. I have a ball and chain waiting at my house just in case the proverbial "one" shows up at my front door sometime soon. I assure you I would waste no time tying myself down.
In all honesty, the thing that scares me about singleness is what my life may look like 20 or 30 years from now. I worry about turning 50 and not having a family. I worry about not having kids to send off to college. I worry about who I'll spend Christmas with when my parents are gone. But I also know that so far God has filled my life with people who love me more than I ever expected or deserved.
I probably could come up with a million reasons why being single has been better for me so far in my life. I could tell you that I couldn't have a family and do what I do for a living. I could tell you that I'm free to travel, see the world, and live an adventurous life. But I know at least a dozen people who aren't single and who have traveled farther, seen more of the world, and lived a far more abundant life than I could ever hope to.
The truth is, I am single because I am single. This is the hand I've been dealt. And you know what? It's not a bad hand. I think the trick to life is just to be thankful. In all things, be thankful.
Blessings!
Bebo Norman
Check out Bebo's Web site at www.bebonorman.com.
Bebo welcomes your feedback and brainstorms at:
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