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Whenever I receive a phone call from someone with an exaggerated accent, I know immediately it's my wacky friend Ray. At first this was his attempt to throw off my former roommate and me, to see how long he could get us to think that some strange man from Australia, India, or the deep South was trying to get ahold of us. When I started to catch on, I would try to mimic his accent and carry on the conversation, often failing miserably at sounding anything but deranged and always giving way to giggles. Now, I think Ray dons an accent just because that's our thing. We're friends, that's just what we do.

Ray's my wacky phone-voice friend. My dance-together-to-awesome-'80s-tunes-until-our-legs-hurt friend. My annual companion to the demolition derby friend. Because he's a guy, he brings all kinds of great things (and some really weird ones!) into my life that my female friends don't. And because we're both single, we can enjoy our friendship without a lot of restrictions and boundaries.

I've been so thankful over the years that in my life, the answer to the age-old question, "Can men and women be 'just friends'? has been, "You betcha!"

Of course, that hasn't always been the case. I'll admit I was a bit of a late bloomer in the guy friend department. Up until about halfway through college, people of the opposite sex were a bit intimidating, scary, foreign. Guys were people I admired from afar, whose attention I fruitlessly tried to attract, and who mainly spoke to me if I was their lab partner or they wanted to borrow some paper in geometry class. It wasn't until college, where I lived in a dorm with an amazing and somewhat strange assortment of men and women, that I began to know guys not just at casual acquaintances or brief dating partners, but as a wonderful third option: friends.

These good guy friends were also unwitting teachers that people of the opposite sex can make great buddies. Among the best lessons I learned in college was the truth that seeing the other gender only as "dating potential" and "not dating potential" is narrow-minded, unbiblical, and self-defeating.

Since then I've noticed that the guy friends in my life (and in my female friends' lives) have a tendency to fall into one of several categories:

There are handyman friends, such as my coworker Tim, who helps me install and store my window air conditioner unit every spring and fall. Along with the fun chatter we share as Tim becomes my "toolman," he's also offered a cool bonus: his wife, Michelle, who's become a fun weekend companion when she wants to see chick flicks (which I love and Tim hates).

There are also playmate friends, such as Ray. My former roommate and I used to host parties for our Young Adults Bible Study Fellowship group at Ray's huge bachelor pad, including our annual Regress to Your Childhood Roots Party during which we'd play Candyland, Ants in the Pants, and an assortment of other kids' games.

There's also martian friends, for lack of a better term. These are guys who bring a bit of their Mars mentality into our Venus-centered galaxy. Max has been my favorite martian for the past six years. This fellow creative-type encourages me in my writing pursuits and inspires me with his own accomplishments. Through our numerous sitcom-like phone chats I've learned that when I present my latest problem du jour, I need to spell out clearly whether I want practical solutions or moral support.

These guys and several more have enriched my life in countless ways. Besides fun and friendship, I've gained insight and perspective. More specifically, I've learned how to install a window air conditioner, how to keep playing at any age, and how to better communicate with "Martians." And someday if there 's a husband in my future, I think he'll be quite appreciative that I've learned at least a few of the finer intricacies of the male mind.

There are other types of cross-gender friends. And I'd love to know if there are basic female categories from the guys' perspective. But the overarching truth is the same: We intricate, flawed, and interdependent human beings need one another, and that includes older friends, younger friends, married friends, AND friends of the opposite sex. I think we need all these different perspectives and presences in our life to help us be well-rounded individuals who don't bash the other gender, have unrealistic expectations of them, or have such a gaping hole for their presence in our life that any ol' specimen will do.

If you don't have any opposite-sex friends, I encourage you to start seeking some out or to open your eyes to the potential buds who are probably right under your nose at work, church, or in your neighborhood. Yes, there are potential complications and risks at stake. But, there are also potential game nights, household hints, Mars translation guides, and maybe even some wacky phone calls awaiting. And maybe, just maybe, one of those folks may eventually promise to be your best friend 'til death do you part.

Camerin welcome your feedback and brainstorms at: SinglesNewsletter@ChristianityToday.com

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