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I took the challenge! I'm almost 39 and have never been married. I've always been too afraid to ask women out. Just thinking about it makes me feel as though I'm still in junior high school. But I'm slowly growing in the area of relationships with women.

The woman I asked out is new to our singles class at church, so I fear I may have jumped the gun a little. Perhaps I should have waited until she'd settled into our group more. Immediately after asking her to lunch, I wished I'd taken time to get to know her better. When she met me for lunch, my fears were confirmed. She was blunt about some areas of her life, and it scared me. We all have issues, but she shared hers upfront.

Nevertheless, I see a lot of potential. She's honest and wants to grow. The lunch seemed to go well in spite of my fears, and I thought she might be interested in pursuing our relationship further. Two days later, I asked if she'd like to do something else, and she said she'd prefer to get to know people in a group setting. I usually subscribe to her line of thinking, but I'm beginning to realize that every now and then we need to take a chance. I've always struggled with knowing when to take the time to get to know someone better slowly and in group situations and when to take a chance and ask someone out. This time, I took that chance.

At first I thought her comment was positive because it brought me back to my usual thinking and timing. Later, I felt rejected. But after reading the series of articles on the subject, I felt better. I'm learning I should be sincere when I meet a woman I'm interested in, whether she responds positively or not.

Gary

At least once a week for several months, I ran into a man who seemed to be interested in me. For whatever reason (translation: fear), I chose to ignore it. Over the past few weeks, however, I felt my heart undergo a change … and I started to give him some subtle hints at my interest in him. Since I hadn't dated in five or six years, I think I was too subtle. But one recent evening, God provided the perfect opportunity for me to let this man know of my interest. I took the chance, and the next day he called to ask me on a date. Although we haven't been dating long, I feel so blessed each day just to know him. I'm glad I took the risk to "seize the date." It's been worth it!

Letty

I took the challenge, asked a girl out, and basically got a mixed and confusing response. I told this woman I wanted to get to know her better, but she said she was only interested in friendship. What's confusing is that since then I've met up with her on a regular basis for lunch (probably because we work around the corner from each other and the weather has been surprisingly good lately). It's as if we're getting to know one another better, but without any romantic connotations.

Last Friday we were talking about plans for the weekend, and we both mentioned it would be a good idea to head off to the coast for the day and enjoy the weather. So when I proposed that we go together, she was interested and then said, "Who else could we ask to come?" I guess that kinda said it all. We went through the names of some mutual friends and realized no one was available, and it kind of tailed off there. Basically it was clear she didn't want to go with me alone. I was disappointed but not surprised.

Friends tell me I did well by even expressing my feelings to her in the first place. Sometimes I agree, sometimes I think it's just made things awkward between us. I suppose she doesn't want to give me the wrong idea by spending the day with me; but then what's a guy to think?

Recently a good friend was bemoaning his lack of a lovelife and said that "it's getting beyond a joke." I laughed, but corrected him—it's "getting beyond friendship" that's my problem!

Name withheld

I took the plunge about a month ago when a Christian man asked me out (my first date since my husband left me almost four years ago.) I wasn't necessarily attracted to the guy who asked me out, but I liked him as a friend so I said yes. We had a fun time, and even tried a second date a few weeks later. I had soooo been wanting to date, to start a new relationship and get on with my life (even though my life is great and I'm enjoying it now more than ever). In the end, I was shocked to learn I might not be quite ready to date again, even after four years. However, I think this was a big stepping stone and a positive step forward for me.

Melissa

About a month ago, a single man in my church asked me out. I lead a single women's Bible study at our church, and he cleverly found my phone number in the bulletin and called me.

I'm in no way attracted to this man. I've talked to him a couple of times and discovered enough to know he's a kind, decent Christian guy, but there are no sparks there on my end. So when he asked me out, I politely turned him down.

But here is where the encouragement comes in: The simple fact that he asked me out made my day! I hadn't been asked out by anyone for almost a year and a half, and knowing there was a single man out there who found me attractive and wanted to spend a little more time getting to know me increased my self-confidence by about 250 percent.

I know asking me out wasn't easy for this guy to do, especially since he ended up being turned down. I hope God used it to inspire him to new levels of courage. I'm grateful for his risk, and for a God who wastes nothing.

Robin

I've been divorced for seven months and was separated for two years before that. I signed up with eHarmony after my divorce when a friend suggested I fill out the personality profile. I had no idea what kind of person I'd even be interested in seeing if and when I decided to start dating again someday.

I had a recent match who lives within 50 miles of me, and we've been communicating for a couple months. We were chatting and e-mailing each other several times a week but had never talked on the phone. We were IM'ing last Thursday night and she asked me how I thought things were going between us. I replied that I thought it was going okay, not really knowing what she meant with her question. I typed, "Why, would you be interested in getting together for dinner and a chance to get to know each other better?" I think I caught her off guard, but she said yes.

We met Saturday night for supper and talked for three hours. I felt we got along really well together. We both had a good time and said that we needed to do this again in the near future.

I think going into the dating scene looking to make new friends instead of seeking someone to become a future mate relieves a lot of tension. I don't know if this woman, or any of the others I've communicated with on eHarmony, will ever fit into the role of future mate. But I do have several new friends to go out and have fun with—several of them fellow single parents.

Gary

I took the challenge and asked out a young lady at church. I don't know her very well, but we've talked a few times at church and at a wedding, and I went to a concert with her and some other people from our church singles group. So we've had some interaction over the past few months, and I thought she had an interest in getting to know me. I asked if she'd like to go out for lunch or coffee sometime. Crash and burn, she said no.

David

A couple of weeks ago, I was at the doctor's office. One of the women behind the counter had received a decorative wall shelf. I offered to assemble it for her. She was warm, friendly, and appreciative, and mentioned a couple times that she had no one at home to do that sort of thing for her (which I took to mean she was available).

After I finished, she thanked me several times and gave me candy and a soda. We said our good-byes and I left. As I drove down the road, I thought about the whole situation and decided to go back, take a chance, and ask her out on a date.

When I asked her out, she replied that she had a boyfriend but that it was very sweet of me to come back and ask. While in times past I would have felt rejected, this time I left feeling good that I'd taken the risk.

Glen

I did ask someone out during the challenge period. The company I work for had a semi-formal dinner event and guests were welcome. I asked a wonderful lady from church to go with me. We barely knew each other and I was happy to have an opportunity to start building a friendship. I'd hoped to get to know her better through normal church fellowship, but that just wasn't happening.

I'm always a little nervous asking someone out, but it gives me a good feeling of accomplishment when I step out of my comfort zone and do something, anything. As they say, you can't steer a parked car.

I asked her to this function to get to know her, to start building a friendship as a possible foundation for more. All I knew about this woman is that she has a tremendous heart for the Lord. That's about it. I figured getting to know her better would be a blessing in itself regardless of whether I though she could become my wife.

I called her the day after the event to thank her for her wonderful company, and the next week I asked her to join me in taking my dogs for a walk in the park after church. Through these two outings, I learned quite a bit about her that I never would have found out in a group. It turns out she's shy, is great with children and animals, and sings like an angel. Tonight she's helping me pick out worship songs for a meeting at our church tomorrow. We'll get a chance to do a little worship and prayer and see how that part of us relates.

It's all still low key. We're still learning about each other. We're building a friendship and leaving the rest up to God. In the process, we're treating each other with honor and respect. I really don't know where it will lead. If it's not this one it may be the next one, and I'll be one friend richer in the meantime.

Bill

I'm a recent widower and thought it too soon to ask out a Christian lady I had my eye on. But the Lord put some free concert tickets in my possession, so I seized the opportunity and asked this woman to join me. She was so flattered and joyous over the invite, she asked me if I'd go for a walk on the beach with her that weekend. I realized she was interested in me, too, and gladly said yes. That was about five weeks ago, and we're now praying together and enjoying each other's company with the Lord by our side.

Name withheld

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