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I do believe men and women can be friends. I've been friends with Eddie for six years now. We met at freshmen orientation in college and bonded over the fact that our parents were the most embarrassing people in the world. We discovered we shared the same major and many of the same classes. Coincidence? I think not. God brings people into our lives for a specific purpose.

For the first two years, we were almost inseparable and many people thought we were a couple. When I changed my major, I saw less of Eddie, but he was always there when I needed him. Whenever I broke up with a boyfriend, Eddie was there to let me cry, to tell me to stop whining, or to offer to beat the guy up! When I needed someone to laugh with, cry with, or just hang out with, he was there.

In Eddie I don't have just a "male" friend, I have someone who's always in my corner and always will give me an honest answer when I need it, even if I don't want it. He's the brother I never had but always needed. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without him.

Tosin

I truly don't believe men and a women can be "just friends." Why? First of all, there's the huge issue of emotional intimacy. We so often mistake the attraction of having a shoulder to cry on for real feelings towards someone. I speak from experience. I went through a really low time in my life and there was a guy around who was a good listener. The more he listened, the more attracted to him I became. This guy, though nice, wasn't a Christian and wasn't my type at all. But because he was there for me during a tough time, my emotions and affections got a little muddled. We ended our relationship on a bad note, rekindled our romance six years after that only to break up again, and still have occasional messy interactions to this day.

I've also learned that spiritual intimacy can be mistaken for the real thing, too. Praying together can be very bonding, and not necessarily with the right person or for the right reasons. I wonder if the fact that I don't have any brothers has anything to do with my difficulty in seeing guys as friend potential, not just as romance potential. I also wonder how many male-female friends can honestly say they've never been attracted to the other person at some point in their relationship. I think there's always some sort of attraction, whether big or small.

Miranda

I'm a 41-year-old single man who's recently embarked on a new relationship. The first person I called to tell about the date was my friend Julie. Julie and I met several years ago when our church started a singles group. The group disbanded, but our friendship didn't. We meet for a meal every two weeks or so, and talk often. She's dating a great guy now and often asks my opinion on things. She's so happy for my recent good fortune, and I've already sought her advice about the new person in my life. I can't imagine my life without Julie. So, though it takes work and clear boundaries, I think men and women can be friends.

Jan

I met Greg in college and we hit it off instantly. I was a quiet, reserved girl then, but he managed to get me to talk and laugh a lot. Throughout our undergrad years we encouraged each other, talked on the phone for hours, met each other's families, served together in campus ministry, did fun stuff together with our group, and prayed for each other. His college girlfriend became one of my close friends, too.

I learned a lot from Greg and identified in him qualities I now want in a future spouse. I considered it a gift to have a glimpse into how the male mind works. I never thought of Greg as anything more than a friend. From the very start we somehow built a healthy boundary in our friendship. However, there was a time when we were getting emotionally close and I had to step back a bit. But he honored that and our friendship survived and even thrived as we got past a temporary awkward phase.

Ten years later, Greg and I are still friends. We may not talk as long or as often as we did during college, but we both value our friendship very much. Greg told me the news when he started going out with the woman who's now his wife. I invited them over for dinner from time to time, and I was present for their surprise engagement party, the bridal shower, and of course the big wedding day. I'm grateful to God for giving me healthy male friendships like the one with Greg.

Jemma

Based on my personal experience, I have to say men and women can't be "just friends," at least not at the same level as same-sex friendships. I started out as friends with a number of guys I've met recently. Or so I thought we were friends. After a period of time, I discovered it wasn't just friendship they had in mind. I've concluded that in most cases one party in the friendship always wants more out of the relationship than the other. This revelation ruined the friendships I had with these guys, because you can't go back to the way things were before a desire for more is communicated. I now realize these guys never even had friendship in mind in the first place. From these experiences, I don't think it's right for men and women to be just friends.

Barb

Yes, I believe male-female friendships are possible. I've known my dear friend Gladys for about 20 years. We've eaten pounds of sushi together and spent hours talking about theology, politics, men, and women. We both were part of an overseas short-term missions trip. I even helped nurse Gladys through two or three broken hearts. She's given me tons of advice about women, most of which I didn't take.

At one point I broached the subject of us getting together romantically, but she said it wouldn't work because we're both so strong-willed we'd eventually kill each other. Gladys now has a boyfriend and we currently live 1,500 miles apart, but I still call her monthly to see how she's doing. Gladys is more than a friend; she's family.

Al

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