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$26,327
The Price of Love?
by Jason Illian
June 14, 2006
According to a new "American Weddings" study conducted by The Fairchild Bridal Group, the average couple walks down the aisle dragging a $26,327 price tag. To put things in perspective, the U.S. wedding industry generated $125 billion in 2005, about the same amount as Ireland's GDP.
$26,327! Are you kidding me?! Do you know what $26,327 can buy? For an in-state student, it can buy four years of tuition and fees at the University of Texas. It can buy the top-of-the-line, fully-loaded Nissan Xterra with 17" aluminum-alloy wheels, an Onstar trip computer, fog lights, Rockford Fosgate-powered audio with MP3-CD playback, and tubular step rails. It can buy three spa days a month for over two years—including a 50-minute Swedish massage, 50-minute customized facial, and an aroma-touch manicure and pedicure—at the Four Seasons Hotel.
If you want to be more charitable with your money, $26,327 can sponsor one runner to Race for the Cure for The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation—and at $20 a mile, the poor volunteer would have to race over 1,300 miles. It can provide school tuition, two meals per day, uniforms, shoes, medical assistance, food distribution during the holidays, and a chance to develop a relationship with Jesus Christ for ten children at Christ's Gift Academy in Mbita, Kenya, for almost nine years.
Please understand I'm not the Joy Nazi, trying to steal the excitement and memories of the Big Day. Extravagant weddings aren't our problem—it's what they're made to represent. Some couples shell out almost $30,000 not to celebrate genuine love, but to try to buy happiness, approval, security, and love. In the U.S., many of us are guilty of trying to buy the love experience instead of focusing on true, sacrificial, unconditional godly love.
Maybe we've been overly influenced by advertisers and the media to think the grander the event, the deeper the love. I cringed while watching Sweet Home Alabama, when Reece Witherspoon's fiancé opened up the entire Tiffany's store to let her pick out whatever diamond ring she wanted. While I admit the gesture was romantic, it sent a hidden message to both sexes. To the guys, it said, "You better be prepared to shell out the big bucks and do something extravagant to grab your lady's heart." And to the women, it said, "You'll know he's Prince Charming when he shows his love in luxurious and unique ways."
Of course, most of us know that real love is powerful and simple. But even though we know that, how often are we lured by more materialistic expressions of love? Ladies, how many times have you felt the need to go purchase a new cashmere sweater for a first date? Gentlemen, how many times have you felt you had to take your date to the nicest steakhouse in town to prove your valor and worth? We do these things all the time both in dating and marriage. It's not bad to desire nice things, but we have to take the time to question the motivation behind our romantic endeavors. Do we want these things because everyone else has them or because they're a true reflection of our mutual love and faith? Too many times, ladies want an extravagant engagement story just so they can brag to their girlfriends, and men want to buy luxurious gifts just so they can be known as the knight in shining armor. We misplace our love, and in this consumer-driven society, it's easy to do.
When the rich young ruler asked Jesus what he needed to do to inherit eternal life, Jesus responded, "Sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me" (Luke 18:18-30). The young ruler walked away very sad because he was a man of great wealth. Ironically, Jesus wasn't suggesting it's a sin to have and spend money; he was suggesting it's a sin to have money if it takes precedence over God and our love for others. Riches weren't the young man's problem—it's what those riches represented.
Forty years ago, most wedding receptions were held in the church where the lovebirds were married. And the guests feasted only on cake and punch. One wedding I recently attended was a black-tie affair (for everyone including the guests!), for which the bride wore a $15,000 Vera Wang gown and the reception was in an exclusive downtown club big enough to land a Boeing 747. If you're wondering, I didn't fly in on a 747; I drove in my 2000 Nissan Maxima, which was worth less than the bride's dress.
For many singles, the thought of having anybody to love would make us happy. When and if romantic love comes, we need to make sure we're falling for all the right reasons. A fancy BMW, a posh medical sales job, and the promise of jetting between two homes should never be enough. In its simplest form, dating should be about learning to love, and the wedding should be about devoting ourselves to that unconditional love in marriage. Even the ring isn't a necessity. My dad proposed to my mom without a ring, and they've been married for over 35 years.
George Washington, one of our nation's founding fathers, once wisely noted, "Few men have the virtue to withstand the highest bidder." So, before you get married, ask yourself: "Can $26,327 buy my love?"
If you're interested in any of the above-mentioned charities, they can be found at the following web addresses: The Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation (www.komen.org) and Christ's Gift Academy (www.christsgiftacademy.com). You also can donate to the Jason Illian wedding fund (www.jasonillian.com).
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Copyright © 2006 ChristianityToday.com
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