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Burning Question:

As a leader, when controversies arise, I clam up because I don't want to offend anyone. What should I do?

Never run from challenges, questions, or even conflict in your group. Remember, the Bible says "Iron sharpens iron." The group that doesn't have sparks actually doesn't have as much life. Healthy groups have conflict.

There are practical things you can do, however, to ensure that conflict doesn't dominate your small group. First, agree to make a small group covenant. This agreement outlines the ground rules for your group. If you write down your expectations early on, conflict will occur less later on.

Second, facilitate discussion to help evaluate the progress of your group. After a few weeks, assess how things are going and just throw out the questions: "Guys how's it going? What is one thing you like, one thing you think you'd change if you could?" You may want to have them do it on 3x5 cards to make it safer. Issues that arise from these responses are ones to address immediately so controversy doesn't ensue.

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