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Burning Question:

During a study, sometimes I don't know how to respond when people share deep pains or have a problem with a particular passage. As a leader, I feel like I should have all the answers—but I don't.

Let group members voice their confusion and pain. They need you to be the Good Shepherd's hands, eyes, and ears in this conversation; they need you to be sensitive and caring about their pain. You don't need to solve their problems, defend God, or answer their questions and doubts. You just need to listen and care.

Try to avoid covering your awkwardness in the moment by filling it with words—there are no quick fixes to complex problems. Minimizing someone's pain by trying to solve it quickly prevents you from communicating Christ's heart. God is very capable of healing someone's hurts.

You may decide that someone's need is so important that the group should stop for a while and care for her. Or, you may decide after a few minutes to put a hand on someone's shoulder, pray briefly and compassionately for him, and let the group move on. It's okay if someone cries—just pass the tissues. Model Paul's teaching that we are to mourn with those who mourn (Romans 12:15). You can see why this would be a good time to gather in smaller (safer) circles for this discussion.

Your group members don't need you to lecture them about faith. They need you to demonstrate it by the way you deal with your own suffering, by your eagerness to spend personal time with God, and by the way you care for them when they're in pain.

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