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Kids, by definition, lack maturity. They don't know how to "be angry and not sin" (Eph. 4:26, Psa. 4:4, NKJV). Many times they can't even verbalize why or at whom they're angry.

Let kids know anger is natural—we can't control our feelings. But we can control our actions and talk about what's hurt us and our reactions. Ask direct questions: "Are you angry because your father can't see you this weekend? Are you angry because you think your mother's spending too much time at work?" By analyzing what they're feeling, children can begin to recognize and master that powerful emotion.

Children whose homes were a living nightmare often rejoice when their parents divorce. They're thankful they won't have to call the police again to stop the fighting, and relieved to know an abusive or alcoholic parent no longer will create havoc in the home.

But as time passes, that initial relief may fade into guilt, especially if Dad ends up in jail or Mom cries from loneliness. A child may feel like a traitor.

If this is the situation, encourage the child not to hate or fear the absent parent, but to pray for him or her. Everyone in the family needs time to heal and learn new ways of coping with problems. Assure the child that though some problems seem insurmountable, Christ is there, walking with them through the tough spots.

"Twenty Questions," "I Spy," "The Price is Right"—these games all take on new meaning when played by divorced parents and their children. It's all too easy for parents to compete for their children's loyalty, but remember, a united front is still the best approach to parenting, divorce or no divorce.

In all fairness, kids play divorce games, too. They often pit parents against each other, vying for the "best deal."

A thirteen-year-old told me her mom comes home from work every day and lies down, too tired and upset to cook. Another teenager, Lacey, has to beg her mom to take a few bites of food. "I really worry about her," Lacey told me.

"Sometimes I feel I'm my dad's mother," another teenage girl told me. "I send him little cards to cheer him up. He's always depressed when I see him."

It's easy for a parent recovering from divorce to collapse and let someone else care for him or her for a while. But children aren't equipped to handle the role reversal. They need the freedom to be children. While it's good for kids to help around the house, don't let them take on too much responsibility. It's not healthy for them to be consumed with worry for their parents' ability to survive.

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