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April 20, 1999—the day that changed Sarah Dodrill's life forever. Anyone who's seen the security video footage from inside Columbine High School's cafeteria has seen Sarah. A mass of students dashes up the stairs, exiting the cafeteria. When it appears that no more kids are coming, Sarah rushes into the frame. She's wearing jeans and a white t-shirt with an unbuttoned plaid shirt over it. The shirt billows as she runs; the tail flaps against her hip when she turns to race up the staircase. As she's taking that first step, her head snaps around at the violent sounds behind her.

We don't see it on the tape, but teacher Dave Sanders ran up the stairs after she did. It was then that he was shot. Sanders's voice, urging students to flee, is what saved Sarah's life.

"I was eating lunch in the cafeteria when some boys came running in, yelling," she says. "Mr. Sanders jumped up and shouted, 'Get down!'"

Sarah, not knowing what was going on, obeyed the order and ducked under a table, but when she heard everyone screaming and saw them starting to run, she got out from under the table and ran up the steps with gunshots ringing out behind her. Once on the second floor, Sarah had two choices: she could turn left into the choir room, or she could turn right and go into the library. She turned left. It was a decision that probably saved her life.

What Sarah didn't know at the time was that two fellow Columbine students, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, were embarking on the deadliest high school shooting spree this country has ever seen. The two wounded many and killed 12 students and a teacher before turning their guns on themselves that fateful day.

For nearly four hours, Sarah was one of dozens trapped in the small office adjoining the choir room. "There were 60 people crowded into that tiny office," she recalls. "I was tucked into a corner, and it was scary because it sounded like the bullets were right outside that wall."

How do you deal with trauma like that? For Sarah, it was prayer. "My faith has always been a big part of my life, and I needed it that day more than ever. I felt that God was in control, and I prayed for His protection. Even though I was scared, I knew that if something did happen to me, I was going to be with God if I died." At age 16, Sarah's faith was stronger than that of many adults.

	"I have to make the most of the time that I have, to live for Christ and to tell other people about Him."—Sarah Dodrill

Sarah's thoughts weren't centered only on her own safety. One of her friends, a fellow Columbine student, kept flashing through her head. "She was someone I had been trying to tell about God, and I didn't know if she was a Christian or not; I didn't know what would happen to her after she died if she were to be shot that day," she says. "I kept praying that she would be safe and that God would keep everyone safe."

Sarah recognized the girl squeezed next to her in the tight, suffocating room. "I knew her from Bible club. She said, 'Let's pray together,' but there were more gunshots, so we stayed quiet."

Four hours later, the students heard a pounding on the door. "It frightened us, because we didn't know for sure who it was," Sarah says.

A voice shouted to them from the other side of the door, "This is the police. Open up." The SWAT team had finally come to rescue them.

Trying to look ahead
Sarah was shocked at what she saw as she left the building. "We started walking out, and it was just amazing what had happened to the school. Every window that I saw had bullets through it—there was broken glass everywhere. In the cafeteria, there was ankle-deep water because the sprinklers had gone off. The ceiling was blackened from explosions."

As Sarah and the other students exited the building, they couldn't keep their eyes from drifting off to the side where the body of a student who had been shot and killed still lay on the sidewalk.

"That was when I realized how bad it really was," she says softly.

For five years, Sarah has had to cope with the trauma she experienced. She was particularly affected by the death of Dave Sanders, who had coached softball, basketball, and track—all sports in which Sarah participated. "He saved so many lives because he stayed and made sure everyone got out of the cafeteria," she says. "He is a hero, because he cared for the safety of his students."

What caused Harris and Klebold to act as they did? Sarah can't begin to understand the motivation, but she says with certainty, "When people don't have the Lord, evil can creep into their lives."

The years since then have been difficult. "It was hard to return to school and go back to classes where students were missing." To Sarah, Columbine felt more like a crime scene than her school. The year following the shootings was mired in even more tragedy.

"It was just an awful year," Sarah recalls. "Two students were murdered on Valentine's Day [by robbers at a fast-food restaurant], and one of our basketball players committed suicide that spring. I had thought it was over, and it would all be downhill from April 20th, but it seemed like things were getting harder. I was afraid that bad things were going to keep happening. I had nightmares, and I still have them once in a while."

After the shootings, Sarah wasn't sure life would ever be normal again. She remembers asking her mother, "Will I ever be happy?"

Sarah credits God for getting her through the ordeal, and her faith in the subsequent years has sustained her. "He has done so much healing in my life," she says. "God has given me much joy and peace. I have seen good things come out of April 20, 1999. The girl that I had thought about while I was in the choir room office, she accepted Christ soon after that. She realized that she didn't have hope, and she began coming to Bible club. Her new faith is a really neat thing that has come out of the tragedy."

Another good thing is that Sarah is able to identify with other people who have struggled through loss or who have experienced frightening times. Her experience enables her to understand those who are hurting. "Because this happened at my school, people ask me questions and listen to what I have to say. That has given me a lot of opportunities to tell people about the hope that I have, even through hard times."

Before April 20, 1999, Sarah wanted to be a missionary, and she still does. Today, she is a junior in college, but her testimony about her experiences has seemingly already begun her work as a missionary.

"I have to make the most of the time that I have, to live for Christ while I'm here and to take the opportunities that I have to tell other people about Him and to show them God's love, because I don't know how long they have, either."

Sarah recalls the time immediately following the shootings. "When I asked my mom if I'd ever be happy again, she said, 'Yes.' And she was right."

Claudia Cangilla McAdam is a freelance writer from Littleton, Colorado. Sarah Dodrill is her niece.

Article Update:
Sarah married a former Columbine student, Andrew Perlman in July of 2005. She currently works for Denver Public Schools with the department of Planning and Assessment. She is also working on a master's degree in education and plans to teach social studies at the secondary level. As a teacher, Sarah hopes to reach out to young people and show them that they matter.

Sarah is deeply saddened by the recent massacre at Virginia Tech. Her heart breaks for the families and friends of the innocent victims of this horrific event. "This tragedy again reminds us of the power of frustration, loneliness, and unresolved anger in a person's life," Sarah says. "As Christians, we must reach out to those who don't 'fit in' and take the first step to show them friendship and compassion."

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