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It's fitting that MercyMe's crossover hit, "I Can Only Imagine," is about heaven—band members have lost several loved ones to death in recent years, and they've played the song at some of the funerals.

"We're just regular people who deal with the same situations as any other regular person," lead singer Bart Millard says. "It's just that with the demands of what we do, sometimes it's harder to really sit back and process what's going on or take enough time out to properly recover from a punch that's hit us."

Between December 2003 and March 2004, Millard and his bandmates lost nine close family members or friends, including the singer's 20-year-old brother-in-law (to a tragic car accident) and his uncle (who was like a second father to Millard).

"We were in the middle of making our latest record, Undone, and there was just this constant onslaught of people dying who were somehow attached to our lives," Millard says. "One of the first things we went through related to a pregnant friend who found out her twins weren't going to make it, but being so far along in her pregnancy, she had to deliver the babies anyway. And then [keyboardist] Jim [Bryson]'s father passed away, which was within two years of losing his mom. From there it was like something kept happening every other day."

	We've found that faith is almost like a muscle that grows with strength the more you use it. —Bart Millard

But the band didn't have much time to be still and grieve. Though they made it back for every wake and funeral, they soon were boarding another plane or bus to stay on their recording and touring schedule.

"It got to the point where every time the phone would ring, we weren't sure if it was relating to the band or if we were about to get another round of bad news," Millard says. "It was always a mixture of both, from our manager losing his father-in-law and then grandmother to my wife calling with news my uncle died. We were in shambles by the time that tour wrapped up and this record was finished, but at the same time, it caused us to hang onto Christ with everything we had. Though that's exactly where He wants us in the first place, it was incredibly challenging."

Millard and his bandmates appear to have formed deep bonds that extend beyond their music.

"When you're with the same people for ten years, you go through a ton together," Jim Bryson says. "I remember how the band's been behind me after losing both of my parents, whether we were deliberately having a counseling session or just being with each other and praying together. I think we're all closer now than we've ever been and I'd credit that to God's timing, really. The ministry's only benefited through what we've gone through as individuals."

Two songs of hope
"Homesick," one of the band's more recent hits, also resonates with listeners who have experienced bereavement. Like the heaven-focused message in "I Can Only Imagine," the track speaks of reuniting with relatives and looking forward to Christ's coming kingdom.

"It's incredible to think how all the pain we've gone through totally shaped the record and a song like that was able to come out," says guitarist Mike Scheuchzer. "Bart is so open as a lyricist, and I think our experiences over the bit of recording really redirected the way the songs ended up."

Millard says audiences request "Homesick" during MercyMe's concerts. "People are really reaching out for the song and it's actually very therapeutic when we play it," he says. "We'll have people come up to us before and after shows, and we all get e-mails with people sharing their stories and how we've touched them in some way. A lot of times we can all feel like we're the only people going through an issue and then you find an instant commonality with people you never would've realized."

Both "Homesick" and "I Can Only Imagine" have given the band opportunities to talk about Jesus. "It's almost surreal at times, but we'll have DJs who aren't Christian tell us that their audience will actually call up the station and thank them for playing our music because it's so uplifting," Scheuchzer says. "That sort of thing doesn't happen every day and I don't think it could've worked as smoothly as it has even with a million-dollar marketing plan. People who've never met Christ are now starting to question eternity, and He's working in their hearts each and every day."

The band members' losses also have led them to a deeper dependence on God. "We've found that faith is almost like a muscle that grows with strength the more you use it," Millard says. "Sometimes when things are going well, you don't rely on your faith as much and you become this fat little Christian that can be sort of complacent. But lately I've used every ounce of faith because it was the only thing that got me through. I leaned on it so much that there was no choice for me to get stronger as life went on. I'd send that same message to anyone facing loss right now: Get ready to cling on to your faith with everything you've got, let it build up over time, and never let go no matter how hard it gets."

Andy Argyrakis, a Chicago-based music writer and concert photographer, has written for many print and online publications, including CCM Magazine and ChristianMusicToday.com.

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