Keep It Clean, Santa
My daughter, Samantha, was 7 when she left this note on the hearth beside Santa's milk and cookies: "Merry Christmas. We have been good this year. Please take this food to the kitchen, because we are not allowed to eat or drink on our new carpet."

   —Renee Futrelle, Mount Olive, North Carolina

The Baby Downstairs
Several weeks ago my wife and I were explaining to our 3-year-old son, Harrison, how much Jesus loves him. I asked him if he knew where Jesus lived, assuming he might say "in my heart" or "in heaven." But Harrison thought about it and said, "He lives in the basement." That's where we store our Nativity scene.

   —James Steen, Waco, Texas

A Permanent Solution
My wife and I teach first-grade Sunday school, and we sometimes laugh at the things our students say. Once, while teaching a lesson on forgiving others, I asked the following question: "What would you do if your best friend hit you?" Several children said, "Tell on him" or "Hit back." Anna, looking quite thoughtful about the situation, slowly raised her hand. When I called on her, she said firmly, "I'd get a new best friend!"

   —Joseph Collier, Gainesville, Georgia

Potty Breakdown
It was my granddaughter Shirley's first day of kindergarten. The teacher told the class if anyone needed to go to the bathroom to hold up their hand. After a moment's thought, little Shirley asked, "How's that going to help?"

   —Thomas LaMance, Prewitt, New Mexico

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