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"When we told them we were adopting a second child, they were so excited," Steven recalls. "You'd have thought I'd told them we were going to live at Disney World!"

Mary Beth continues, "Still, even though they can't articulate it this way, they know that with every child we bring into our home, we're splitting their inheritance, not to mention our time and attention. But somehow they understand that on a spiritual level, God is changing their hearts. Most kids today live in a self-centered culture that plays into their 'I want, I need' attitude. Our children have been confronted with the fact that life isn't just about their agendas-it's about God's agenda. They don't always like that, but this experience is teaching them that their wants and needs aren't the most important thing in the world."

But along with the blessings of adoption come tremendous challenges. The idea that all a child needs is a loving home and everything else will take care of itself is a myth that can set families up for painful disappointment, warn the Chapmans.

"We have some very good friends who had to take one of their adopted children to a residential facility for a time because his problems were simply too big for them to deal with as a family," says Mary Beth. "It was a heartbreaking decision for them, but they knew it was what needed to be done. They aren't ever going to stop being his family, but it has not been an easy road for them. We've watched them struggle with him for years, so we went into our adoptions with our eyes open."

And indeed, there have been moments of difficulty for the Chapmans. "A couple nights ago," says Mary Beth, "Shaoey told me she missed China and her 'birth lady.' No matter how many princess outfits we buy her, how many books we read to her, or how much love we lavish on her, there's a hole in her heart."

Both Steven and Mary Beth have had their moments of wondering if they were walking down the right path, especially as they considered adopting for a third time. Steven remembers talking to his older children about adopting a third child. He says, "Oddly enough it was Emily who resisted. Will Franklin followed her lead and they said, 'Enough is enough.' Emily was in her senior year of high school, getting ready to go to college, and she said, 'This one won't even know me.'"

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