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Mr. Fallano continued in a calm but firm voice: "Caleb, you can wear whatever you want on your own time. But this is a public radio station, and here we've got to represent public opinion, not go showing off whatever we believe. Don't get me wrong; I'm a religious man myself, but I don't show it off to everyone I meet. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

My head whirled between truth and fact, defiance and submission. "You don't want me to wear this necklace?"

"That's right," Mr. Fallano nodded. "And I appreciate your sensitivity on this." His demeanor relaxed a little, signaling to me that, as far as he was concerned, the discussion was over.

"Now, you're probably back on the air in a couple minutes," he said, as he returned to the work at his desk. "Have a good day."

As I switched on the microphone in the studio, a temptation passed over me to tell the public what had just happened in the station office: how my personal rights had been violated, how my civil liberties had been trampled. I thought it was righteous indignation that stirred me. "Stand up for Christ," my pride urged my will. My stomach quivered, and my heart pounded within my chest. But in the end, I stuck to the news about the governor.

Many times afterward, I've wanted to hang that cross around my neck and proclaim my right to wear whatever piece of religious jewelry I choose. I've even constructed several arguments that would justify my position. But then I think of the real meaning of the Cross, and wonder to myself, Would my defiance represent Christ's cause, or my own? His glory, or my pride? Is it His cross, or mine?

That evening, I hung the necklace on a coat hook in my room, and it stayed there for the remainder of my time at the radio station. Surrendering that piece of wood humbled me, but it also challenged me to ponder what it really means to represent Christ in the world. Wearing my cross so casually had almost kept me from carrying His.

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of those involved. Caleb Sjogren is a writer living in suburban Chicago.

Copyright © 2005 by the author or Christianity Today International/Today's Christian magazine.
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