Barbara Curtis

During the first two decades of her adult life, Barbara Curtis thought Christians were idiots. A radical feminist who protested war and lobbied for abortion on demand, Barbara got her kicks from yelling obscenities at the "pigs" during rallies. A sexually promiscuous, cocaine-snorting welfare mom, Barbara called herself a "fag hag" (a woman who parties with gay men). She lived to shock people, "to be different and avant-garde."

Today, the only visible residue of Barbara's past is the blurry rose tattoo etched on top of her right hand. "I got it done in 1969 at a place across the street from the Greyhound station where all the sailors went. It seemed like a good idea at the time," she muses, shrugging. "I wasn't thinking that someday I'd be a 58-year-old woman with this thing on my hand."

Barbara—now a Christian—doesn't hide her tattoo or her past. Nor does she flaunt them. Instead, she draws on what she's learned from her experiences as she lobbies for a new cause: challenging Christians to befriend non-Christians, and encouraging conservatives and liberals to interact. Her latest book, Reaching the Left from the Right: Talking About Social Issues with People Who Don't Think Like You (Beacon Hill), is one means to that end. "The only way Christians can change society is by understanding our culture," she asserts, "and by becoming involved on a personal level.

	"Jesus ate with the dregs of society. That's where we should be: out forming relationships and serving our communities." —Barbara Curtis

The Accidental Christian
Barbara became a Christian "quite by accident." Twenty years ago she and her second husband, Tripp, attended a FamilyLife marriage conference where they learned about God's love for them and committed their lives to Christ. "We came home as different people. We weren't sure what had happened to us, but we knew something had changed."

For Barbara, everything changed. No longer drawn to being a liberal, feminist, moral relativist, Barbara spent the next ten years focusing on learning to follow Christ. As she taught her children about Noah, Moses, and Jesus, she learned about them, too.

While Barbara says becoming a Christian felt like "coming home," she found some aspects of Christianity troubling. "The biggest disappointment was discovering how closed some Christians are to the rest of the world. It was as if I had entered this other dimension that was supposed to take up my whole social life," she says.

	"When we stop seeing 'in-your-face' people as grotesque and understand that God loves them, we increase our capacity to love."—Barbara Curtis

Something about devoting three nights a week to church activities and church friends didn't feel right. The more comfortable and insulated Barbara became within her own church, the less ability she had to relate to people outside it. "There's no way you can impact your culture or bring anybody to the Lord if you are separated," Barbara explains. "It's certainly not how Jesus behaved. Jesus ate with the dregs of society. That's where we should be: out forming relationships and serving our communities."

Clear Conduits
Many Christians balk at forging relationships with people they perceive as "sinners," says Barbara. But some Christians who continually bash homosexuals and denounce gay marriage are having affairs and getting divorces. Compromised Christians don't possess credibility or a moral platform from which to speak to a liberal culture, she concludes.

Rather than focusing on the sinfulness of others, "we should be reflecting on what God would like to root out and deal with in our own lives," she says. "We should be a clear conduit so that God's message can shine through our lives and our actions."

Being a clear conduit may mean admitting we're not excited about knowing a person like Barbara's former self. "Some Christians have a conquest mentality in which they think they have to go out and win souls for Christ." But starting a relationship with a defiant, drug-abusing radical seems too hard. Why bother putting effort into a relationship when it's unlikely that the person will become a Christian?

The Bible doesn't tell us to avoid talking to sinners, counters Barbara. In fact, it says just the opposite. "We should try to strike up conversations with everybody we possibly can—not about Jesus—just about life. If your kids play sports, talk to the other parents on the team. If you're in the produce aisle of the grocery store next to somebody who looks strange and alienated, talk to them." Barbara suggests tacking magazine pictures to your bulletin board of the types of people who really make your toes curl and asking God to help you love them.

It's risky to invest in no-strings-attached friendships with people who are different. But when we seek God's perspective, our hearts flood with compassion and there's no room for self-righteousness, says Barbara. And when people know we care—truly care—they begin to listen.

Breaking Down Barriers
To better relate to people outside our Christian community, we need to eradicate barriers. One barrier is the use of Christian jargon. "Christians use a lot of terms that grate like nails on a chalkboard to a non-Christian," explains Barbara. We talk about having a burden, laying it on the altar, and being covered by the blood of Jesus. "That's just plain creepy to a non-Christian." The clubby jargon bothers, bewilders, and feeds the stereotype that Christians are wacky. Barbara suggests that Christians mimic Jesus' style, using everyday language and familiar metaphors. We should apply a simple test to every word, idea, and concept: "Will a non-Christian understand what I'm saying?"

All good missionaries immerse themselves into the culture they intend to reach. In our culture, film and television are the conversational currency, the religion of the masses. "Hollywood is one of the most important agents shaping the soul of our country," writes Barbara in her book. "Films have proven themselves a powerful instrument in lowering standards and persuading people to accept practices once taboo." She regularly reads movie reviews from sources such as RottenTomatoes.com to stay in touch with contemporary culture and to make informed decisions about the movies her family watches.

Barbara also recommends reading political commentary from a variety of perspectives. "Familiarizing ourselves with the things of the world does not necessarily corrupt us if we are looking at them from a Christian perspective. We need to understand them so we can talk about them knowledgably and without prejudice."

Compassionate Christians
Perhaps the most critical barrier-breaking activity Christians can do is to participate in our communities. That doesn't mean attending city council meetings only when we've got an axe to grind; it means attending regularly. It means volunteering at the food bank, the Boys and Girls Club, or the hospice center. It means running for the school board or for political office. It means rubbing elbows with people who aren't Christians. "In serving our community we earn the right to be part of the discussion about how it's run," says Barbara.

It all starts by following Jesus' example of washing people's feet. "The Last Supper wasn't just about communion," says Barbara. "Jesus got down and washed 24 dirty feet. That's what we need to be doing in our daily lives."

Finding common ground with those on the opposite side of the political and religious spectrum requires one overriding quality: compassion. "When we stop seeing 'in-your-face' people as grotesque and understand that God loves them, we increase our capacity to love," says Barbara. It's risky, yes, but as we love compassionately and serve without an agenda, God will equip us to rise to our maximum influence in a culture that needs Him.

Laura Christianson (www.laurachristianson.com) is a freelance writer from Snohomish, Washington.

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