Extreme Worship
My husband is the pastor at our church, and he often calls on different members to lead the congregation in prayer. One man, being asked to pray, was nervously trying to thank God for our ability to come together for corporate worship. Instead, getting tongue-tied, he prayed, "Thank you for this time of corporal punishment."
—Angela O'Keefe, Ramer, Tennessee /span>

Call the EPA
My church held a baptism service at a local lake, and I decided it would be a great opportunity to publicly declare my faith in Jesus Christ. It was a beautiful, sunny day and the lake was crowded. As the pastor led me into the water, I jokingly whispered to him that my impurities would rise to the top and pollute the lake. He laughed and shook his head as he lowered me into the water. One week later, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry when a headline in the local newspaper announced: "Lake closed because of pollutants!"
—Marlene Greulich, Galien, Michigan

Occupational Hazard
At a wedding reception, my friend and I sat next to a lovely woman and her podiatrist husband. During the celebration, I noticed they hadn't gotten up to dance once. Smiling, I asked the woman, "How come you two aren't dancing?"

"You're not going to believe this," she said with a slightly embarrassed voice, "but my husband's feet hurt."
—E. C. Manucci, Niagara Falls, New York

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