"Your son has juvenile diabetes."

Standing in the middle of a chaotic ER, Bart Millard's jaw dropped. Best known as the voice of the contemporary Christian band MercyMe and the man who penned such award-winning hits as "I Can Only Imagine" and "Word of God Speak," Bart and his wife, Shannon, had brought their son Sam, then 2, to the doctor out of concern for his excessive thirst and fatigue. The diagnosis took them completely by surprise.

"I had no clue," Bart says wryly. "When they told me Sam had diabetes, my first question was, 'For how long? I mean, he's going to grow out of it, right?' When they said it was permanent, I was stunned."

Though the doctor assured Bart and Shannon that the cause of juvenile diabetes, a disorder that renders the body incapable of regulating blood sugar, is unknown, and that they were not to blame, Bart couldn't help questioning his parenting skills. "Deep down I felt like, Man, maybe I didn't keep an eye on this," he says. "The parent in you worries."

Emotionally tapped
They spent the next week at the hospital, day and night, struggling to acclimate to Sam's new life as a diabetic. Learning the routine of shots, finger pricks, blood tests, and dietary restrictions was exhausting and overwhelming. "We had to give him four or five shots a day, prick his finger 15 or 20 times, and at 2 years old, he didn't understand what was going on," Bart says. "I've gone through a lot of tragic things, loss of loved ones. But this broke my heart more than anything."

	"Bart stepped up to the plate, learned everything, and then taught me. He set the standard for taking care of Sam."

Indeed, Sam's diabetes was the latest blow in what had been a difficult year for the Millards. In January 2004, Shannon's 19-year-old brother was killed in a car accident. Just months later, their daughter, Gracie, was born six weeks premature, prompting serious concerns for her health. Bart and Shannon barely had time to catch their breath (Gracie had been home from the hospital only one week) before Sam's diagnosis. "Emotionally, we were tapped," admits Bart. "We were like, This is never going to let up."

Shannon credits Bart for holding them together during that difficult time. "I was shutting down, thinking, I can't do this," she remembers. "Bart stepped up to the plate, learned everything, and then taught me. When we got home, I'd say, 'Okay, what do we do?' I'd just had a child two weeks earlier and was in a fog. Bart set the standard for taking care of Sam, and took it all on his shoulders."

Amazingly, Sam took these drastic lifestyle changes in stride, perhaps because he was so young at the time, or because his personality had always been easygoing. "He surprised us over and over with his attitude and how he was willing to do things," Bart says. "He was like, It's not a big deal. Why are you all freaked out? He's a really strong kid."

The new normal
Four years later the Millard family, now consisting of 6-year-old Sam, 3-year-old Gracie, and 2-year-old Charlie, has settled into a routine that runs like clockwork. Beginning at 7:00 A.M. with a blood sugar check followed by breakfast, and ending with a final check at midnight (or frequently 4:00 A.M.), their days are a regimented series of finger pricks, shots, meals, and snacks. Unlike most children, Sam needs to eat carefully chosen foods at very specific times and in very specific amounts in order to keep his blood sugar level within a healthy range. Skipping or postponing a meal or snack is not just inadvisable; it's dangerous.

"The schedule is tough," Bart admits. "You have to eat at this time. It has to be this much. You have to give him a shot right now. It never, ever changes, and it's not something that goes away. It's every day."

The inflexible nature of Sam's schedule makes it impossible to enjoy some of the simple pleasures other parents take for granted.

"Weekdays or weekends, Sam's up at 7:00," says Bart. "I talk to my brother, and his family is rolling out of bed at 11:00 on Saturdays. I have no idea what that's like."

Still, Bart at least gets a break from the daily grind while touring with the band. He credits Shannon as the hero constantly in the trenches, whose rock-solid strength holds the family together during those times. "I'm great in a crisis, but get overwhelmed by the everyday tasks of taking care of Sam and everything else," he says. "But that's Shannon's strength. Man, there's nobody greater at maintaining a pace and keeping the family going when it's just everyday life. I'm amazed by her endurance and ability to stay focused, even though she knows it doesn't end."

Helping a young child stick to such a rigid regime isn't easy, but everyone in the Millard household does their part. They all follow Sam's healthy diet, eating the same types and amounts of foods. In fact, since Gracie and Charlie essentially came along after Sam's diagnosis, neither knows life as anything different. And having a big brother who occasionally needs a snack or piece of candy can have its benefits.

"When Sam's low, Gracie gets a snack as well," Bart says. He adds, chuckling, "So sometimes she's rooting for his blood sugar to be low because she knows she'll get to eat. She'll even come to me and say, 'Daddy, I think I'm low.' She's only had her finger pricked maybe two times in her life, but it was enough for her to know she doesn't like it. So I'll ask, 'Oh, you want me to check you?' And she says, 'No, no. Trust me, I'm low. Just give me candy.'"

No piece of cake
Of course, even for a child as well adjusted as Sam, life with diabetes is difficult. At an age when most kids are finicky about food, Sam has to eat everything put before him, and even finish in a certain amount of time. "Food is a battle," Bart says, "but we try to give him as many options as possible. We'll ask, 'What do you want to eat tonight? We have this, this, and this.' It makes a world of difference because any time he feels like he has freedom in something, it helps a ton."

Though something as simple as a friend's birthday party brings its own set of complications for Sam, Bart has learned ways to keep things as normal as possible. "I can tell you the carb count on any piece of food ever made," he says with a chuckle. "I know a two-inch square of cake is typically enough for a snack. You do a lot of guessing, but anything can be fixed with insulin. So it's not as overwhelming as it was at first. Most of our friends know Sam can eat at 4:00, and they're really awesome about accommodating his schedule."

Despite his young age, Sam has been amazingly responsible about sticking to his diet. Bart recalls a particularly moving experience at a party when Sam was only four. After the cake had been cut and served, Bart noticed Sam sitting quietly amidst the other boys' exuberant antics, his cake untouched. "I asked, 'What's wrong, buddy?'" he recalls. "Sam said, 'I didn't think I could have it.' It broke my heart because he's such a great kid and was so disciplined not to eat it. Things like that, man, they wear on you big time. It drains you emotionally."

Thankfully, the blessings more than outweigh the heartaches. For all the health concerns surrounding Sam, he's still a normal, active little boy who enjoys playing soccer (they load him up with extra carbs before a game), video games, and going to see the Texas Rangers baseball team with his dad.

He's also a terrific big brother, amazing Bart with his maturity and unselfish nature. "Sam has never asked, 'Why me and not Gracie or Charlie?'" he marvels. "He's glad they don't have to deal with what he does. But he does pray that God will take the diabetes away, that someone will find a cure."

That simple but fervent prayer led Bart to create the Imagine a Cure Foundation, a non-profit organization that supports juvenile diabetes research. Eighty-five percent of donations to the foundation go directly to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation to support their search for a cure.

Unexpectedly, Bart's connection to other families struggling with the disease has sparked a passion for this new area of ministry. "Being Sam's dad has given me such a heart for families with sick children. While before I wouldn't normally try to jump in and minister, now God has given me something to say to them, to engage with them and relate to what they're going through. If Sam had been completely healthy, I might never have had that awareness."

The payoff
If there's another bright side to the diabetes, it's Bart's relationship with Sam. Because he's required to be involved with even the smallest aspects of his son's day, they share a close bond. "Friends who have older children with diabetes told us, 'If there's a positive side to this, it's that you'll always have to be involved deeply in your child's life because his health depends on it,'" Bart recalls. "We're already experiencing that."

It's a closeness he maintains with all three kids, even when he's on the road. "One of Bart's greatest strengths as a father is his ability to constantly include them, even when he's gone," Shannon says. "He talks to them on the phone and stays connected on all the little things, such as, 'Did Sam lose a smiley at school?' He knows the language of what's going on, what our days are like minute by minute."

Brad Cardwell, a longtime friend, agrees. "I see him fight to spend quality time with his children," he says. "He's creative with that time, and a great storyteller, and I see that translating into how he shares God's Word with them."

On a lighter note, the kids' favorite way to share fun time with Dad is family dance night. They turn on some music (usually Bart's, at the kids' insistence), and everyone dances. For Shannon, it's a favorite image of Bart as a dad. "It's so fun to see him act silly with them," she says, smiling. "He's got all three hanging off him, and he's dancing around the room, and they're just laughing. I love to watch that."

Through the good times and the hard times, Bart confesses he's a work in progress, constantly struggling to accept that God is in control—of all things. Songwriting has been his therapy, a way to express the fear and anger and doubt. "Bring in the Rain," written during that difficult year of 2004, is a great example.

"It wasn't about me saying, 'I can take it, God, bring it on,'" Bart explains. "It was me trying to convince myself that I could get through this, that God is the only thing worth hanging on to. That I hope for all of the junk that's happened in my life, there's a payoff, and if that payoff is to draw me closer to God, then maybe it's worth it."

Although parenting has brought its share of "rain," Bart wouldn't trade a minute of it.

"It's amazing to be responsible for them and watch them grow, dreaming of what they may become," he says. "People ask me, 'What do you love more than anything?' The answer is I love coming home. I hate leaving, but it's almost worth it for the feeling I get when I walk through the door and my kids celebrate the fact I'm home. It's the greatest feeling in the world."

Dawn Zemke is associate editor for Today's Christian. Jim Bryson is keyboardist for MercyMe and a professional photographer. For more about Imagine a Cure, go to ImagineaCureOnline.com.

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