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Today's Christian, November/December 1996
Completing my first semester at a Christian college, I had a lot to tell my family. Just before arriving home, we had had an open house in our dorm—one of the few times men are allowed in the women's rooms. When some male friends came to visit, I wanted them to check out the huge closets.
"We can fit four or five in the closet without clothes," I bragged to my parents and brother.
After a stunned silence, my mother exclaimed, "Without clothes?"
I immediately clarified things—the closet was stripped bare, not the bodies in it.
-Helene Talbert
Wahpeton, North Dakota
I was standing up to leave a restaurant and solidly hit my head on a lamp hanging above the table. Grimacing, I staggered away, but still heard these words—intended to comfort—from an older gentleman sitting nearby: "It will feel better when it stops hurting."
-Joanna Lerud
Steamboat Rock, Iowa
When contact lenses were still a novelty, an acquaintance of my mother's was pulled over by the police. Checking the motorist's license, the policeman noted, "It says you're required to wear glasses."
"I have contacts," the driver explained.
"I don't care who you know," the officer growled. "You have to wear your glasses."
-Miriam Martin
Dallas, Texas
My husband and I, with our two daughters, operate a small sheep farm. One day a non-farming friend asked, "How can you bear to slaughter those cute little lambs?"
"We don't want to get emotionally attached to the ones we plan to eat," my husband explained, "so we don't give them names."
Not satisfied, the friend probed, "What about your kids?"
"Oh, we name them!" my husband quickly replied.
-Julie Helms
Goshen, Indiana
My mother talks in her sleep. One night she asked my pastor father, "Lysle, will you please lead us in prayer?"
"No, I won't," he replied grumpily. "Now lie down and be quiet."
"Well," my mother said indignantly. "I'll just ask someone else!"
With that, she fell into a peaceful slumber.
-Lynette Kittle
Irvine, California
Copyright © 1996 by the author or Christianity Today International/Today's Christian magazine (formerly Christian Reader).
Click here for reprint information.
November/December 1996, Vol. 34, No. 6, Page 10
Last Updated: October 18, 1996
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