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My husband and I were driving toward our rural home when I spotted three deer about to cross in front of us. Noticing that my husband wasn't slowing down, I reached over, gently touched his arm, and said, "Honey … deer."

He still didn't slow down, so I repeated more firmly, "Honey … deer!"

Suddenly, he hit the brakes, veered, and managed to miss all three. After I caught my breath from our near-miss, I asked him why he hadn't paid attention when I warned him.

"Warned me?" he said. "I thought you were being romantic."

-Patricia Beecher
Horseheads, New York

For decades, anyone living within five or six miles of the hat factory in Denver, Pennsylvania, set their clocks and watches by the sirens the factory set off five days a week. At 5:30 a.m., the wake-up siren would begin the day followed by the starting, lunchtime, and quitting sirens at the designated times.

When the siren system was eventually disbanded, a friend of mine was reminiscing with the timekeeper about his job. "What did you use to determine the exact time?"

With a twinkle in his eye, the man reached in his pocket and pulled out a child's Mickey Mouse watch.

-Erma Landis
Lititz, Pennsylvania

While a student at what is now Minot State University, I served as choir director and radio soloist for one of the local churches. One Sunday during our live broadcast, I faced the ultimate test of keeping my composure when the pastor announced my solo: "Mr. Tornow will now sing the old Swedish hymn, 'Children of the Heavenly Father,' in memory of Gust Johnson who died at the request of his wife on January 18." Fortunately, the accompanist came to my rescue by playing a long introduction-enough time for me to stop laughing.

-E. Edward Tornow
Bismarck, North Dakota

When my older granddaughter filled out her first job application form, she listed various babysitting jobs under the heading of "Previous Employment."

Under the column "Reasons for Leaving," she told the truth: "The parents came home."

-Clara Null
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

In our church kitchen, whoever drinks the last cup of coffee often fails to replenish the pot for the next person. Trying to motivate the staff to be more responsible, the secretary taped a neatly-typed plea to the pot: "If Jesus drank the last cup of coffee, what would he have done? Go thou and do likewise."

The next morning she found this scrawled response: "Jesus would have turned the water into wine instead of coffee."

-Mae H. Fortson
Black Mountain, North Carolina

Just before Valentine's Day, my construction superintendent husband, Bill, casually asked me the name of my favorite perfume. "Sand and Sable," I said, pleased I was getting more than just candy.

With that vital information, Bill confidently approached the clerk in the Penney's perfume department and asked, "Could I have a bottle of Sand and Gravel, please?"

-Marion R. Hocking
Mesa, Arizona

Our pastor was organizing an evangelistic outreach using small acts of kindness to demonstrate Christ's love. He phoned several neighborhood grocery stores and laundromats for permission to do specific services.

On one call, the employee who answered the phone hesitated, then said, "I'll need to ask the manager, but first, let me make sure I understand: You want to clean up the parking lot, retrieve shopping carts, hold umbrellas for customers, and you don't want anything in return."

"Yes, that's right," our pastor replied.

After disappearing for a moment, the employee returned to the phone. "I'm sorry," he said, "we can't let you do that because if we let you do it, we'd have to let everyone else do it, too!"

-Ann Jeffries
Kansas City, Kansas

Copyright © 1997 by the author or Christianity Today International/Today's Christian magazine (formerly Christian Reader).
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