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When Jay and I married at twenty (me) and twenty-two (Jay) we had, of course, planned our entire lives. We didn't want children. We didn't want pets. (Two people who don't like children or puppies deserve each other, don't they?)

After a while, I changed my mind about children. I gently prodded Jay to reconsider—like "Give me children or I die!" We proceeded to "put our order in" for a little girl. Each time we thought I might be pregnant, Jay and I would argue about whether she would be named Autumn, my favorite girl's name, or Jay's favorite, Amanda.

For ten years we tried. God did not appear to be on the job. We went to the complaint department, all to no avail. Then we went to plan B. We pursued adoption, feeling strongly that we were to apply, not for an infant, but for a sibling group of older children. We were examined, investigated, and interrogated until Los Angeles County Adoptions approved our request for a sibling group of up to four children—all six years or older.

Since there are many such children waiting for adoption across the country, we prayed for God's will in putting our family together. Soon, we received a call from our caseworker. "We have a sibling group we'd like you to consider, even though they don't meet your specifications. The mother relinquished them and requested a Christian family who would be willing to meet with her before the adoption. There are only two children in this group and they are three and five years old. Will you consider them?"

"Tell us more about them."

Perfect fit
"They're both girls, green-eyed blondes. The five-year-old's name is Autumn. The three-year-old's name is Amanda." God had answered both our prayers!

A meeting with the birth mother was arranged. There, we learned their middle names. Autumn's middle name is the same as mine, Marie. And Amanda's middle name is my first name, Linn. That's the name my friends and family have called me since my teenage years when I rebelled against my too-common given name, "Linda."

It really was amazing. God saw that two parents who did not know him at the time, who had not surrendered their lives to him, would name their children according to his plan. God allowed us to name our children, even though we were not even aware of their births.

While I was crying over my barrenness, my babies were carried and born. While God seemed silent and uncaring, he was at work in his own magnificent way.

Same message twice
Autumn and Amanda kept us plenty busy. After about five years, at a ministers' luncheon, a pastor I had never met before approached me and tentatively said, "I know this is really strange, but I feel that the Lord wants me to tell you something. The message is, 'Tell her not to be afraid to have more children.'"

I smiled and laughingly replied, "Thank you, but I'm not afraid, because I'm not going to have any more children." The pastor asked if he could pray for me. During the prayer he proclaimed the Lord would make our home an example of nurturing love and that we would have a son who would become a minister.

I went home greatly disturbed, fervently hoping the man was wrong and yet worrying about becoming pregnant at my advanced age. I told Jay about the incident and just when we had managed to put the unnerving encounter out of our thoughts, something else happened.

A visiting speaker at our church, praying with us before the service, suddenly got excited and said, "Oh, this is from the Lord! You're going to have a boy. He's going to be a minister. But don't be afraid, this will bring happiness into your home and the Lord will make your home an example of nurturing love."

I shook my head. This woman had just met us. She didn't know the other minister who said the same things. This had to be from God.

Jay and I decided that if this was God's plan, we didn't have to do anything to help it along. We went about our lives, as usual. Meanwhile, I fought a nagging dread about future stretch marks and birth pains.

It came to pass
A month passed. Jay and I traditionally host a Christmas open house in early December. That year, we decided to hold it on Christmas Eve, in order to provide a special holiday for our single members. One church member brought a coworker with her, and her coworker's niece, Alex, a six-year-old pixie.

The little hyperactive sweetheart refused to stay in the kids' party room and wandered about the house getting into everything. Finally, she cuddled into Jay's lap and settled down. For some reason he told her he wished she could be his little girl, a thought that delighted her, since Jay resembles Santa Claus in appearance and spirit.

We didn't know she was also delighted because she had no mom or dad, having lost them to jail. Her aunt had her own problems and did not plan to keep her.

Alex's aunt discovered we had adopted children before. Hoping we would fall in love with Alex, she made arrangements for the little girl to spend weekends with us. Alex also had a little brother, Stephen, who had been separated from his mother, father, and sister. He was in a foster care facility in the next county. Day after day, he sat rocking numbly, silently, in a three-year-old's version of depression.

We were still waiting for a divine pregnancy when we decided to reunite Alex and Stephen. We applied for an emergency foster care license. By the end of February, Alex and Stevie moved in and blended into our family immediately. By the time we realized these were the "expected guests," we were already deeply in love and thrilled to have them as part of our family.

Eventually, the birth mother showed up, and after two visits in our home, asked us to adopt her children. We arranged an open adoption, with two visits a year, at Christmas and in the summer, with their mother whom we call their "first mom."

Stevie and Alex brought more love, lightness, and laughter into our home. Our home became hectic, but happy and healthy, too. We didn't think we needed more children, but we did need them, desperately. Stevie is eleven now and says he wants to be a fireman or perhaps a scientist. We tell him that's great and we buy him chemistry sets, even though we think he just might become a minister.

God answers prayer. He makes all things beautiful in his time. We thank God for our four greatest gifts.

Condensed from Serving Together (November 1996), © 1996 Linda Riley.

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