Sign up for our free newsletter:

The Mom Hunt

A chance glance at the obituaries leads to a happy mother and child reunion

by Deborah Matthew as told to Edward D. Hughes

The name in the obituary notice leaped out at me—May Brigham.* My heart pounded. Could it be the woman I'd tracked down only three weeks ago? My birth grandmother? The woman I'd hoped could tell me about my birth mother? Obituary details matched what scant information I already had.

On my lunch hour, I'd seen the obituary of a friend from church, when my eyes wandered across the page, and I noticed May's name. I was due back to work at 1:30, and the funeral was at 2:00.

What should I do, Lord? Surely you have a reason for dropping this information into my lap. It can't be the end of my search. Not when I'm so close. I hurried back to work, told my boss I had to deal with pressing personal business, and arrived at the funeral home moments before the service started.

The youngest of four children, I grew up in a Christian home where children were very much wanted. I was twelve before I got up the nerve to ask about my biological family. My parents told me my biological parents couldn't keep me, but they didn't know why. Dad showed me my birth certificate.

I had a name—different from my own. It was strange to think I was once somebody else. As I grew older, I wanted to know more.

I had always known I was adopted, as were the rest of my siblings. I was told that being adopted was special because that meant you were chosen. I remember Mom telling the story of when they went to the adoption agency to pick me up. The kids got the day off school to collect their "new baby sister." I'm not sure what was more exciting, picking me up or getting the day off school!

---

I had a name—different from my own. It
was strange to think I was once somebody else.

---

Life wasn't always rosy. I remember being teased as a child about being adopted, although I didn't understand what the fuss was about. I thought adoption was quite normal.

But to be honest, I did feel somewhat rejected as I grew up. If someone gave me away, then maybe I wasn't good enough.

It wasn't until I was twenty-seven, when one of my sisters, also adopted, was diagnosed with breast cancer, that I decided to find out more information about my biological family. I knew my mother's maiden name from my birth certificate. Using Henderson's Directory (a compendium of names and addresses for Canadians) for the city where I was born and still lived, I cross-referenced the family name with the year I was born.

I found May Brigham's name and address. It matched the address on my birth certificate. Three weeks before she died, I drove by the house, but could not muster the courage to knock on the door. But when I saw her obituary, I knew I had to go to the funeral.

A hunch pays off
In front of the funeral home, my confidence waned. I couldn't just show up at someone's funeral, could I? What if this wasn't my family? What if it was? I was scared, but I knew it was right to be here. In my heart, I knew that God had arranged for me to see that obituary. If my hunch was correct, May Brigham was my biological grandmother.

As I walked into the funeral home, the thought of coming face to face with someone who looked like me flashed in my mind. My stomach tightened.

The minister spoke briefly, then one of May's daughters rose to give the eulogy. I began to see a picture of the woman who I guessed was my grandmother. She loved her children, worked hard, and persevered when things got tough. If she was my grandmother, I thought, I would have been proud to know her.

Another daughter stepped up to read Scripture. As May's daughter, Louise, walked towards the pulpit, the next few seconds seemed to move in slow motion. I caught a glimpse of her profile. Instantly, all the wondering came to an abrupt halt. I felt like I was looking into a mirror. I knew I had found my birth mother!

As tears rolled down my cheeks, I was filled with conflicting emotions. Joy for finding my birth mother. Sadness for never knowing my grandmother. Anxiety over what to do next.

Feeling more than a little confused, I sat quietly. As the minister prayed, I decided what to do next.

I couldn't just walk up and say, "Hi. I'm your daughter." A note! I quickly scribbled, "My birth name is … and I was born … " I gave details of my birth date, my adopted name, and my phone number. "If this means anything to you, please call me."

Louise called that night and we arranged to meet the next morning at a coffee shop. I was nervous as I walked in. At first, it was awkward. What do you say to someone you haven't met but have wondered about for most of your life? We talked about our families and showed each other pictures. We caught ourselves looking at each other constantly. The resemblance is unmistakable.

Louise and I live 450 miles apart in Canada, but we've spent time together on several occasions and have more visits planned.

God has made it plain this was his timing for our reunion. I thank him for letting me find Louise. My Lord is healing that part of me that was broken. He has shown his great love through what has happened, and I'm confident he will continue to bless our friendship.

Condensed from New Christian Herald (July 1997), ©1997 Edward D. Hughes. *The birth mother's and grandmother's names have been changed.

Hasten to do even a small deed and flee from illusion; for action generates more action, while wishing generates only frustration.

We are here to act. We are life's way of getting things done.

The reward for action? The opportunity to do more.

—Rabbi Ben Azzai

This advertisement sponsored by The Christian Family Association
Help Judge Roy Moore keep the Ten Commandments and God's morality in our American legal system.

The ACLU is suing Judge Moore to remove the Ten Commandments from his courtroom. The Judge REFUSES to do so, but needs your help!

—You read about his plight in the May/June 1997 issue of Christian Reader.
—You saw him on ABC's "20/20" news program on October 16, 1997.
—Follow up on him at our Web site: http://www.judgemoore.org
—Donations may be sent to:

Judge Roy Moore Defense Fund
PO Box 8222
Gadsden, AL 35902

Copyright © 1998 by the author or Christianity Today International/Today's Christian magazine (formerly Christian Reader).
Click here for reprint information.

Home  |  People of Faith  |  Stories of Hope  |  Today's Culture
Build Your Faith  |  Laughing Matters  |  Archives  |  Contact Us

				Try an Issue of Today's Christian Free! Name Street Address City/State/Zip E-mail Address No credit card required. Please allow 4-6 weeks for delivery. Offer valid in U.S. only. Click here for International orders. If you decide you want to keep Today's Christian coming, honor your invoice for just $17.95 and receive five more issues, a full year in all. If not, simply write "cancel" across the invoice and return it. The trial issue is yours to keep, regardless. Give Today's Christian as a gift Buy 1 gift subscription, get 1 FREE!

FREE Newsletter Subscribe to the Today's Christian Newsletter    RSS Feed   RSS Help